Monday, October 06, 2008 time speeds up when it slows down, puttering out. so duncan lives with his boyfriend. weird, huh? one day i woke up and knew what my tattoo was going to be. the night before he and i had an apocolaypse. cylons were cell phones. to focus i looked to the celestine prophecy but by some weird coincidence unbeknownst to me it was not where i thought it was and instead stumbled upon the 72 names of god. i thought of percy and looked at the first one i found indeed it was required by law that that be the one. i asked him to focus on it for one hour, sixty minutes and when i looked at the atomic clock it read 3:19 at 4:20 we would talk. well it worked 60 minutes of calm in which i spent watching leonard nimoy narrate in search of...gay sex. scoff not. down the road people will dig up gay porn and wonder what the fuck we were doing. crisis staved for moments of clarity. later that evening, for a lark, i thought of myself and looked at the 72 names, the one that came glorified the name in my heart and became the ink in my skin. marked for time. wasn't it madonna who said "time goes by bla bla bla 4:29 PM (3) comments

Friday, September 05, 2008 well, for starters, i got my first tattoo saturday morning after something of a bender friday evening. yes, i've always wanted one but what i wanted has changed so many times and with retrospect i've always been quite thankful i didn't get the rose on my shoulder, the centipede on my ankle (that one to mask a scar) or those damn arm bands on everyone else. i also had in my head that if i did get one it would be after a considerable waiting period, to make certain i wanted say a bar code. in truth it was only a couple of hours that i lived with the concept of what i did finally get and i backed away half an inch from where i wanted the actual placement because i was told it would hurt more. silly! i mean i knew it would hurt, how am i going to know now whether this placement hurt less. i will say the pain was actually so much, for me anyway, that i had to stop mid-way through what was at best a 10 minute session. sugar was brought to me and eventually i made my way to a toilet where i swear could only be described as evil expelling happened without the assistace of an enema. for the rest of the weekend what is normally a small turn on for me, seeing hot guys with hot tats, actually made me quite nauseous. i don't forsee doing it again, said so when it was done and yet now i hear of guys with rulers inked on to the arms so they know how deep they go. hot! so much to report, and so little energy left in me, for anyone familliar with the wildgeek let me drop this bombshell on you: i have a boyfriend now. he lives with me. i love him. ready for the biggest? he's a bottom! 4:05 AM (4) comments

Saturday, March 22, 2008 for your consideration: imagine if you will, one of those 'things' you never thought you'd dare try. further still, make it commonplace now, a part of you and those that you cling too. after you've opened pandora's box there is absolutely no way you can get rid of the smell, even if you wanted too. part of me thinks i've given way to the dark side but upon reflection that bubble was itching to burst ages ago. sex is not overrated, it is all that but sometimes grabbing at straws is only that, reaching for nothing. poke me prod me do i not get turned on? it was martin fry who sang it better: if you judge a book by the cover then you judge the look by the lover i hope you soon recover me i go from one extreme to another 3:49 AM (3) comments

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 britney spears set to star as madonna in upcoming unscripted reality show slash biography. details are sketchy. some have speculated that this is just a pubilcity stunt designed to draw attention to the fact that neither need record sales anymore. others still wonder if there's not some truth to the rumour that the free madonna in the park concert will actually be britney spears as madonna as part of the finale of the first season of the yet unnamed show. a golden dawn for television no doubt. Labels: not to be believed 5:34 PM (2) comments

Wednesday, December 19, 2007 oh the unending pain of it all. i had bought the object of my affection a delicious little gift. imagine my delite when i even recieved a half kiss. then, last night, to see the gift on one of his friends, you'd think tears would have come to my eyes but no, instead i laughed out loud. the friend asked me what was funny but how could i tell him? i told him i was high and everything was funny. i told myself i got drunk as a skunk because it was the start of my weekend last night. i don't know for sure whether i believed myself. hopefully the sun, the moon and the stars are aligning themselves all proper like, i'm due for some "rip me a new hole" ass fucking. 5:53 PM (0) comments

Monday, December 17, 2007 dear diary, there's this boy i like. lately he's all i think about. i know it's wrong, i know it's not meant to be, i know he would be bad for me but still, being aware dosen't make it any less prevalent. i say to myself "today i will no longer be affected by him" but then he says that something somethin' or smiles the certain way or shows me the attention i rightly deserveand i forget to hold fast to my "today i know...". i questioned out loud to a friend yesterday "why dosen't he see me as a mark?" when i very well am and realize that i am. our first date had to be postponed by half an hour because he had to service a client. diary, you know, it was the "date" part of that statement that was wrong. what am i doing going on a date? furthermore, why am i secretly proud of the fact that our first date did not involve sex. sure, some stolen caresses while he slept and holding him while i fell asleep. almost even calling him by the name of he that i am reminded of by him. oh the morbidity of it all. 2:01 AM (1) comments