Friday, August 29, 2003 at work yesterday, one of the newer dancers finally registered on my radar. he's not actually new, i just hadn't worked with him. other dancers have been all drooling over him, some of them asking to be on at the same time as him so they warm up together. crowd response for him always seemed to be high. he shaved his head and now all of a sudden i get it. he's got a five o'clock shadow on his head and these thick dark eyebrows. yum. baby thug. i likely didn't notice him before because he's young and short, now he's all young, short, tight, tattooed & shaved head. i'm asking him about what music he wants and he tells me he's 'versatile'. 'so am i but i'd rather just have you be top' he's mentioned the versatile thing before in regards to porn and whether he'd like str8 or gay so i was ready this time. came up again in conversation later on in the night when it dawned on me, he wants from the boys what he can't get from the girls, at least the ones without strap-ons. lesson learned, honesty not always the best policy. there was a new dancer and i chatted with him quite a bit. right away i was in a good mood and we seemed to have a rapport. i was dishing too. he asked me about which dancers were gay. i was giving him a breakdown in numbers as to who identified themselves as gay, bisexual & str8. further breakdown into which of those numbers i thought were real, we're all bisexual aren't we? ;) mentioned there was one guy who identified as str8 but that i think is gay and dosen't realize it himself. 'which one is he' the only one he wanted to know the name of, i figured it couldn't hurt to tell him. here's hoping. checked out both of his shows. well. checked to see if he was hard on stage and what the size of it was. he wasn't. the second time i wasn't going to look but i asked someone if he was hard and they said yes. i take a look and it's bigger then it was the last time but it certainly isn't hard. no matter, i'll see it hard at some time. in the last hour we're talking and he says he likes my hands. that i have very beautiful hands. works for you works for me i guess. then he says i have fuck fingers. wait what's this. i show him two and ask if he'd like two at once and he says maybe three. i tell him i've been past the elbow, and he's intrigued. hell at this point i'm intrigued too. i figure here i've got me a bottom, and i tell him i'll finger fuck him but no fingers in me. i don't like being finger fucked period. he says fine and waves his hand. i grab his hand, look at the index finger larger then some cock i've had in me and instantly retract the statement. 'maybe you'll like this more' and he's got quite a tent in his shorts. i grab at it in his shorts and go a bit weak at the knees. 'yes please' he takes it out of his shorts and puts my hand right on. so nice. long, thick and decidedly black. there's more talk, i tell him i'll have to get more extra large condoms. he says regular are fine. i'm telling you, this is the kinda cock i carry the extra large condoms around for and all the guys that complain about condoms being too tight must be whiners if he's ok with regular size. he asks me if i think i can take it. of course i can but he says not many can. i have to 'throw in there' we have to take it slow at first, don't want him to think i'm some stretched out alleyway. truth is it was all i could take not to be ramming that thing in me right then and there. backed up against him and reached around and started playing with his ass saying i could take it up the ass and still be able to play with his ass. he says he's 'got a new crush' and i'm wondering when i can get him inside of me. this is work? 9:31 AM

Thursday, August 28, 2003 only 12 hours since my last post? i was out and playing cards, which seems innocent enough and sure it is. yet, tonight it was 6 of us, all gay, and there's enough of something going around for everyone. now, slow down, there's no sex, loads of innuendo. the game is ripe with sexual connotations to begin with, if one choses to see them, void, rubber, 'he's shafting me', etc., and the art of the double entendre is taken to a new form at this club. i referred to someone as a bear, and he actually called me on it. 'i'm a bear?' 'why yes you are' i says pushing his collar aside to see all the hair on his chest, 'aren't you?' he thought he was an otter but then i said 'otter is what i am' though it turns out i'm wrong. i thought otters were hairless but otters are slim. seemed to be the consensus at the table. 'then what am i for being hairless?' you know what i am for being hairless, you know what the reply was for what hairless was... and i quote 'nothing'! what could i say? 'that's why i can never get bears to look at me sideways' 'oh yes bears are all about the clique' sure i've done bears, but i don't recall being cruised by bears. i guess it's always been when i've trapped one alone. i've had otter taken away from me, well, i guess if otter is slim i've still got that but i thought hairless could have a place in the bear community too. i'm calling the director on this one, is an otter just slim? afterwards i went to one of the lower-rent bathhouses. i sound cheap don't i? it was late and really it was the only one on my way home. i was the only otter. i fooled around with one guy for some time, head back and forth but then he came and apologized for it. why are people always apologizing to me for that? perhaps it is i who should express regret for not having reached that point with him. he asks me if it's difficult being the only cute guy there. hello. i was the only otter there, there were plenty of hot guys there. we had been playing in a public area, albeit a dark area, and the whole time a guy had had his door open and walked over a couple times while we were playing. once he even was so bold as to try and get me to drop my towel. bah. and he thought 'bah' when the guy i was playing with asked what it was like. i know he thought 'bah' cause out loud he said 'it ain't the only cute one'. not an otter and not the only cute one! i got to suck some more cock. one with a prince albert. and i swear he had coke on his dick cause my mouth went numb. i always think this though, and it's all cause of Ween and their song 'Put the coke on my dick' at least i think that's the title of it, certainly it's the idea behind the song. hell, it could have just been a desensitizer or the metal of his cock ring reacting in my mouth, or all the drink. it matters not, i was not getting anal sex and we all know i'm there for the anal. ended up coming home and trying to get a little booty online. one guy messaged and wants me to look for him tomorrow afternoon. he said he had to work at 7am though, what time does he get off work? just when i'm going into work. i'll leave a message for him tomorrow when i leave for work if i haven't run into him. he's on late tonight he may be on early evening tommorow. only seens the cock and torso and i'm ready to go just on the cock shots. yes two cock shots... 4:19 AM

Wednesday, August 27, 2003 i've been in and out of the sun today, on and off masturbation too. i was tanning outside and jerking inside but then the two met when i discovered tanning oil is also adequate for lubrication. duh. i was getting a bit freaked, kept looking up to see if anyone was watching and then of course a bit of disappointment when no one was. mind you, in the back of my head i kept that little 'just because you don't see anyone watching doesn't mean they're not there'. it did the trick. if they had been there i would have run inside anyway. i was absolutely consumed with the idea a double fucking. first i had seen a double penetration in a video and then my mind wandered. was picking out who i would want to double fuck me. started with the 4 guys who have tried, twice, i've tried twice, 4 guys, numbers can be fun. then i was just pairing up this guy and that guy. i'll go further than that. i wasn't actually pairing up guys but pairing up cocks. he's got a nice big cock, whose cock would go nicely with his i wonder. i ended up picking two of the fatter cocks i know. reaching beyond my means i know. should have been thinking of the two smallest. bah. think big! i think the first time i tried 2 @ once IF poppers had been involved it may have worked. there was a moment of searing pain where i have to imagine both of the guys were in 'some fashion' in there. it always seems to hurt a little the first time i have penetration, it would just make sense that the 2 in there would hurt twice as much. if only i rode it out. ya right, now i'd be out cruising thinking i'd have to find 2 guys instead of just 1 at a time. we'll see. we'll see. i ended up focusing in on Tony, one of the first guys where it was a mutual thing and not just being taking advantage of for me. at that point in time i considered myself exclusively a top. HA! also, i think, if i said i was a top then bam i'm a top and your a bottom. Tony wasn't into bottoming at all. sure i got fingers in there but fingers...c'mon. off the point. Tony had a decided curve do his dick. it came out and then went down. like a j upside down. delicious but whenever he fucked me on my back very very noisy. at that time, being a top, i thought nothing of position. that i recall. now though, being on my back is position number one. so i often revisit Tony in my mind and wonder where he is and what it might be like now. even gone so far as to search him out online but he seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. the long of the story is, :) he'd be one of the 2. the crook i think gives a certain advantage. inside he's going to be bending away from the other guy. other guy being hairy brute of a man that got me off the other day with the big fat cock. i know, nasty. these guys in straight videos who dp, they're rubbing their cocks up against each other. what are they feeling? do they even realize how fucking hot it is for me to watch that and think 'two straight guys doing it with some chick in between'? a friend tells me he was watching a str8 video recently where the girl was fucking twins and they were both in her and the one told her to shut up when she asked if he could feel his brother's cock rubbing against his. that girl i want to take out and pick up guys with. focus boy focus, you're all over the place. 3:50 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2003 i went directly to the tubs. i promise i will get laid in a park at least once this year, even if it's only Clinton sex. and in fact i was meeting up with someone from my online ad but either he wasn't there or i didn't recognize him which just goes to show what i've said many a time before, meeting up at the baths is futile. sure it's a bit safer, if he's not what he says it's easier to back out however... i got there a bit before the agreed upon time so i figures i gots me enough a time for a cocktail. i have to explain to the bartender i'd like ice in my drink, you know, cause then it is a cocktail. shoot a couple games of pinball and actually knocked back the beverage quickly. i'm ready. right away i notice someone i think is a hotty, younger then me, four eyes and facial hair of some description. we start fooling around, my cock is bigger so we both play with it. ha. he has a nice enough dick but every time i play with it or pop it in my mouth he announces 'i'm almost there'. where baby where? the heads not great and he's pumping me just a little too frantic for my liking. to boot he asks me if i'm close. i need a break. i do a quick walk around looking for 'date' and head back for another cocktail. next i'm playing with this unattractive hairy french man, older than me but with a nice sturdy cock. he starts fingering my hole and i think bingo we have a winner here. puts a condom on, gets it in, fits nicely, i get myself situated for a right good pounding! i reach for the lube to give myself a little fun and he's pulling out and throwing away the condom. now i know i've got a sweet hole but show some restraint guy. the unfortunate thing, i think i've played with him before with the same results and will likely again. damn me for being accommodating. quick shower and who should return but the 'young' one from before. sure let's go. same scenario as before, he stops and lays down on top of me and asks me how old i am. of course i laugh. "don't you like personal questions?" and i say age seems like an odd question while we're playing. turns out he's older than i think. i start playing with his hole and he asks me if i like to fuck. then announces he wants to feel me inside of him. i'm putting on the condom when he says i have to go slow cause he's a virgin. i snickered under my breath. i will give him one thing though, he came all over the place, practically like a tap pouring out onto me which was really hot. after all his 'almost there' and 'i'm close' i expected a good cumshot. as an aside i still saw him out and about after that. shower and a steam. i spot a few in the steam room and make mental notes cause the steam is coming on any second and i won't be able to make out much once it does. ultra-skinny kid comes in after the steam starts, i start playing with myself and he sits down on the same bench as me, playing with himself as well. right but the guy across from us is touching his leg and i don't really want anything to do with him so i'm ready to get up and leave when skinny moves away from icky and closer to me. grabs my cock and is giving it some nice stroking. but after all what's stroking really? i start playing with his and take note of its size. for such a small guy he's got a big dick, like dancer Brant at work, i take a look at him and wait what's this it is Brant. fack. i hit him and he says 'what,' call him by his dancer name to which he says 'Duncan?' but dosen't let go of my cock. i sit up straight and say let's go smoke some pot. he says sure, we head up to the room, in the shower area he announces 'you've got a nice cock Duncan'. Thanks Brant, hey a little advertising hurts no one! i already know he doesn't like anal sex, what more can come of this ... we get high and go down for a drink. fortunately a big brute of a man comes and gets me off. nice fat cock. instantly starts barking orders at me. suck my cock. lick my balls. blah blah blah. you like to fuck he asks? that's all i need. pull out the last of my large size condoms and wrap him up. i'm prepared to sit down on it but he shoves me on my knees. announces he's going to fuck me on my back now too. ooops doesn't he realize i'll pop my load right away then? a good night's sleep. 11:19 AM

Monday, August 25, 2003 alright, Monday, which for the time being is the start of the weekend and already i've got myself into a bit of a state. i'm having a hard time deciding which to get up to today ... well i haven't signed in online so it's a safe bet i'm not going to cruise online but even as type and think this .... yup ... i'm cruising online. got to love the internet. but really i'm going to end up at the tubs aren't i? it's still early enough, i could check out the parks, BUT i haven't really done the parks this year which also weighs in with the whole 'well it's nice weather do the outdoor free thing while you can' ... yes no maybe? i added a headline to my online ad 'it's a day off and i'm going to abuse it.' a bit obtuse maybe though i do get abuse mentioned on my ad. it's going to appeal to someone. anyway there's still prime tanning time on the balcony and i certainly am going to abuse that, which added with the *riesling* i found in the fridge adds to the buzz. man. i keep looking at the time though, it's more economical, really, to get to the tubs before 6, it's cheaper. i'm going to want poppers though aren't i? and that tacks on to the bill. and i've got this viagra which i'm not supposed to mix with poppers and who knows what else. i think it's decided now though isn't it. a wee pinch of viagra, poppers and the bathhouse. NOW while i'm thinking of it ... a one-handed keyboard. some smart bugger designed this 'qwerty' system right, well, do i need to spell it out? it's already been done and failed? as it stands i think i do a pretty good job considering. give me a keyboard for one hand! i'm using the right hand to type with, i would think with some of the magor functions on the left, space return CAPS (lol) but even more important couldn't we reorganize the letters? sure it's going to take some time to reorganize in my head but the upside. the upside! the bath house it is. i'm in a frenzy on my own. i had a little cum before, won't call it pre-cum as i don't really think i get that, it was a cumshot thwarted. a cumshot no one else sees is like a cumshot not landing on my flesh. god cries a little tear. i know, i know, all seed that doesn't fertilize. bah! got my first response from the ad and it pretty much assures me i'm heading to the baths. 2:56 PM