Saturday, November 29, 2003 i'm home. not coping well. bad news seems to have piled up while i was away. the good news is i haven't had a cigeratte since i was in hawaii. went to work today 10 hours after i landed and put a nicotine patch on then. after work i had that free time i could have used for the pursuit of sex, just wasn't up for it. mind you i did have the time to do a little porn surfing. the last time i had came was with mister hoity toity. seems like eons ago. afterwards i watched 'the good girl', i've watched 'donnie darko' a number of times now and it's official jake gyllenhaal could be my last husband. he makes me feel like a giddy school girl. come on, i just got back from paradise and i'm not smoking, let me dream. 3:53 AM

Wednesday, November 26, 2003 aloha sad day for me, i leave tommorow early afternoon, no time to tan. spent a very long time saying good bye to the beach. this year's hot ticket item for me has been beach glass. love it. today saw some crazy creature on the beach that i mistook for glass. yikes. got some pictures of it for sure. will start posting pics of my trip as soon as i get home. may the spirit of aloha travel with me. mahalo 10:10 PM

so last night i came to hula's for the smart cocktail and with every intent to blog away... got here and the computers were occupied so i moved to a position where i would be able to snag a compy as soon as it was free. before i could even sit down i noticed an attractive gentleman. amazingly enough he started walking towards me. commented on my colour and really after that i was his. lol. asked if he could join me so we sat down. instantly he touched me and asked if i was properly hydrating. before i could say of course i was he said i was. good skin is not just a gift my friends. he even used the term *dewy*. i mean this man knew how to get into my pants. it all moved very rapidly. before i knew it our legs were entangled and he had his hands up my shorts to make sure i was hydrating everywhere. you bet i was. we got all the necessaries out of the way. he's from san francisco and comes to hawaii four times a year for work. five times to florence and alot of time in new york. head of the fine jewellery department for one of the *larger* stores. wisely, he asked when we would be leaving. finished my drink and said now. got in a cab and he said your's or mine. well of course it's going to be his. i mean the whole yoko ono thing, really. staying at a four star that i'm not even going to try and spell right now but two up from the royal hawaiian. i've gazed at the pool from the beach a number of times, in fact the night before. sex was tastygood *except* he continued on with this 'hydrating' theme. i mean, relax, i'm homosexual, i know cum is good for the skin. right? he was finger fucking me and i was enjoying it. not very often does that happen. we had plently oral and then it just became a jerk off session. he was working towards fucking my ass but it just wasn't going to happen last night. unfortunatley. we both came on me and more hydrating comments. i'd had enough of the hydration by this point. a quick smoke on the balcony and back to my hotel, fortunately both hotels on lewers. :) tommorow will be my last day of tanning. :( leaving thursday circa noon. could still meet daddy this evening though. pray for me darlings. 5:24 AM

Monday, November 24, 2003 not much to report from yesterday. many guys making *googly eyes* but that don't get me off. tried to go to the millitary ball but they asked me for id which i don't tend to carry with me. i was clearly older then the boy asking me for id but hey, i was drunk. went to the theatres for a little cruising and actually gave up on it almost immediately. went into a booth to please myself. someone kept coming and knocking on the door. when i left i assume the gentleman standing outside my door was the one knocking. i wonder what he thought would have happened if i had opened the door. 3:41 AM

Saturday, November 22, 2003 thursday night went with friend to michelangelos and had a couple smart cocktails. sent him over to p-10a to see how it was and report back. told me he'd wait 15 minutes as he didn't want everyone in the bar to know what he was doing. lol. came back in less then a minute and told me there were 4 guys in there, none of them up to snuff. he wanted to stick around and see if it picked up. later report says it didn't necessarily pick up though some tasties came in and that was all he needed. i've always said it's quality not quantity. me, i went directly to velvet video. checked out suzie's as well. velvet video has some video games in the cubicle areas and so i played hearts and checked out the come and goings. not much. suddenly a cute guy comes in, i lose my hand. then all of a sudden he says let me show you the seedier side and pulls a girl in through the curtain. oh oh. "this is where they come to jerk-off" he says and she says "you have to" with a sneer to which he replies "4 or 5 times". ha. i imagine it started off as jerking off. i so wanted to point out the glory holes to her but stuck to the game. last night went to delicious buffet. it was $27 but well worth it, just for the crab legs alone. i had 3 seperate plates of crab legs. oh and smoked marlin, not a big fan of fish but this was delicious. what to do after such a feast? went to max's gym of course. got there just after midnight and was put second on the list to wait for a room. i figure that's fine as last friday i didn't even get a room. however, i forgot last week i was quite intoxicated. as a general rule i need the room to operate from and last night was classic example. the bathhouse isn't very big and so i ended up wandering back and forth as it seems was everyone else. there's a dark room but to me last night it was pitch black and i want to at least have some indication of whom i'm doing (ok those two blindfolded incidents were isolated). after an hour and half wait i finally got room 13. great. however it was a bit busier and i was ready. guys just kept walking past the room and not even looking it. bah. they seem to operate differently here then back home. that's fine. a tasty big muscle guy started appearing outside my door regularly. stopping very briefly, looking in and then moving on. finally he asked if he could come in. yes please i said. then as he shuts the door i remove my towel as is my usual modus operandi. he's in the process of telling me 'this is place is kinda of weird' when he notices i'm naked. my towel plan works as i was expecting the whole 'i'm straight and somehow just wandered into a bathhouse' routine. to be fair it is called max's gym and the bathhouse is attatched to the gym but stilll. he immediately sat down and started saying nice and stroking me. i was just marvelling at his size. hands down the biggest guy i've ever been with, i swear i was the width of one of his legs. it was all i could do from jumping up and bouncing on him. as soon as i felt his hand on my already hard dick i moved for his cock. it was soft and seemed kinda small in my mouth. i didn't care the rest of him made up for it but wait what's this, it grew nicely in my mouth. not huge but still bigger then i expected and quite tasty. literally, this guy either uses great soap or is just naturally tastygood. he was quite moany and talkative, calling me 'boy' which as we know just drives me wild sir. started saying he wanted my big cock in his throat, i obliged and again was pleasantly surprised...he was an expert cock sucker. i started thinking about him between my legs and snapping me in two. it was well worth the wait. this went on for quite awhile until he started saying he wanted me to cum in his mouth. what could i do but oblige? turns out he didn't swallow though as i saw how big of a load i shot all over me. he stood up and i sucked him off from the bed. such fun. he started dipping his finger in my cum and then into his mouth. not much after that and he came, a very small amount but who cares. we made out for awhile after that. i will call on his image for years i imagine. 9:08 PM

Thursday, November 20, 2003 now, first off, because it seems timely. heavy rotation in my mp3 player right now is a michael jackson mash up you simply must seek out. lol. it's called too bad - michael jackson vs. visage. i've had it for months and been loving it, even more here in hawaii. as far as the mashes go it's got to be one of the best and what with michael jackson's current situation it seems timely. check it out. well after 4 days of not tanning i returned to the beach today. employing a cool down technique which is also supposed to give you a darker and longer lasting tan in the hopes that it also deters bumps. i figure swimming in the ocean is as good as a cold bath and i don't want anymore of those. blech. so as mentioned i went directly to the bathhouse last night instead of the bars. a bit of lie, i stopped at michelangelos (sp?) for a smart cocktail and pinball first. what with no grass i needed a little something something to get the party going. mind you, i found ethyl cheap here so i brought it and the 'greedy pig' poppers. however, they don't allow glass bottles (read poppers) in max's gym. they do however sell them in the capsules that you break. last time i was here i bought 3 of these poppers and one was dead, this time i figured i'd bring a bottle in. i got there at 9pm exactly. i estimate there were 3 others there when i got there. fortunately one of them was an attractive beefy asian guy. we had some delightful fun, even enjoyed him finger fucking my hole. by the time he came and i showered there already seemed to be more potential candidates. next on the hit parade was a black man with a delicious body. also he was black black. fun. kept giving me directions. "lick my dick" "lick my chest" "i'm coming" honestly, he was in the room for 4 minutes tops before he shot a load all over the place that i had to clean up. next another asian guy. very cute. young. nice cock to boot. a penchant for buggery which always keeps me happy. didn't have the gumption to bring up the ethyl. i did keep it prominently out the whole time hoping someone would enquire after it. nope. so i didn't even get the chance to pull out the poppers, which i wisely hid. a young skinny guy kept walking past my door and smiling but didn't enter. i went out on prowl and found him in the tv room getting sucked off by a rather unattractive man. it was like a veritable pit of snakes in the tv room, 5 guys going at it in various modes. young boy saw me and started playing with my nipples, point against him, and when the cocksucker noticed this he started rimming the youngin. i chose this as my time to leave. went back to the room finished myself off and headed back to the hotel. slept well. 9:57 PM

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 another tanless day in hawaii. i've decided to hell with the rash tommorow i'm tanning. in fact it's clearing up nicely and they recommend cold baths so i figure the ocean will serve nicely. have been getting quite toasted in the evenings! monday night went to fusion, a two level disco that serves later then the other bars. actually a nice setup. anywho, after leaving i get chased down on the street by a gentleman who had been eyeballing me all evening. seems nice enough but not really my type. still, to come after me on the street gives him some points. told me i looked like a sailor he had met here 4 years ago. i was here 4 years ago but i don't think i've ever tried to pass my self off as a sailor, harder to attract sailors if they think your one as well. asked if we could meet up again and i said i would be in the bars the next night. so i went out last night and sure enough there he was. never leaving my side. he's from france and this is also his third time to hawaii. ended up telling him i was going back to the hotel and instead went to the porno theatres. after enough time had passed headed back to fusion. had another scotch and by this time i was too blotto for my own good. back to the theatres. nothing happened for me though. am thinking i'm just going to skip the bars this evening and go right to the bathhouse. from my previous trips i gathered they weren't busy during the week but at this point i don't care. am horny. 8:58 PM

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 another day bereft of tanning time. i know i know how upset can you be when i'm in paradise. went out briefly last night. a tasty muscle man cruised me pretty heavy in the bar but did not approach. i left. today spent the afternoon in downtown honolulu, meandering through chinatown mostly. took many photos, some that look to me like the harbour in gilligan's island's opening credits. sweet. popped into waikiki video today as well. they have a delicious assortment of poppers. one brand called 'greedy pig'. imagine my own brand of poppers! 3:16 AM

Monday, November 17, 2003 aaargh! yesterday i decided to take a holiday from my holiday all ready. broke out in a heat rash. ouchies. today instead of going to the beach i climbed diamond head. something i've meant to do everytime i've came. they say it takes 30 minutes to climb but when your walking on foot it takes even longer to get there to start the climb. then coming down i could return to waikiki the same way and had to walk around the other way. check out the lighthouse and it's nude beach which i did visit the first time i was here. one naked guy lying face down. me to exhausted to peel it off. by the time i got back to the hotel my rash was much worse and felt like my skin was ripping behind my knees with each step. apparently i have to stop using oil-based tanning products. damn. came to an internet cafe to try and download my pics but gave up on the bloody computer installing the program. bah. 12:11 AM

Saturday, November 15, 2003 oh tasty goodness abounds... first went to michelangeo's for some smart cocktails last night, then over to p-10a which is a sex club attatched to the bar. on the weekends at midnight they have what is touted as hawaii's only nude strip show. have been for this before and enjoy it thourghly. basically the club is just rooms with porn playing in them and a few nooks and crannies. seeing a strip show in this enviroment just seems so seedy to me. and the dancer was the hot one i had seen at angles. one cute guy who i of course ended up with in one of the aforementioned nooks. nice fat cock. we took turns sucking each other off and swatting away the hands that grabbed at us. i decided to slip a condom on him and get him inside of me the natural way. unfortunately, after i get the condom on him and stand up he says 'i can't do that'. great, the one time i put a condom on without checking and it's wasted. it was a large size too, i only have so many of them with me! he ends up cumming on the wall! the wall? i go up to max's gym which is just above these two places in the same complex. just get a locker. much busier there and more attractive. i recognize a few from the beach. am approached by a few guys. i instantly go for the cocks hoping for bounty but am disappointed. geez after one of them i felt the need to go and wash my hands instantly. an attractive man approaches me and shows me his big cock. word must have gotten out. takes me back to his room and pleasantly fucks me silly. he asks if i'm going to cum and all of a sudden it's splattering everywhere. fun. 9:53 PM

Friday, November 14, 2003 went to angles first last night and then to hula's. both had strippers but i consider them more like glorified go-go dancers. in fact at hula's i think they refer to them as go-go dancers. a charming gentleman approached me at hula's and we struck up a nice conversation. he was from chicago and was here with his fiance. interesting, i think to myself. then out of the blue he announces he used to be bisexual before getting engaged. more interesting. bar is closing and i suggest an ocean stroll. he obliges me. sweet. we ended up talking quite a bit more and then he asks me if i've ever had a blowjob on the beach. not on this trip i think but i reply yes. do i reciprocate? but of course, hell you don't even have to reciprocate. we take out our cocks and he tells me he's going to need some foreplay. geez, i thought putting on a condom was foreplay so i inquire as to what foreplay entails for a blowjob. handjob. okay. he sucks me for awhile and quite well i add. then i suck him off to completion. nice tasting cum. he points out that we have spectators. i see two and he says there was a third. hell, it's the beach, what do they expect? i head home with a hug and many platitudes on my cock sucking. today was the first truly sunny day. can't wait to check out my colour. 9:33 PM

Thursday, November 13, 2003 the cute boy with metal didn't show up at hula's yesterday. made my way to angles and had a smart cocktail there before heading back to the hotel. napped, ate and back to angles. very tasty doorman. he killed a giant cockroach for me. giant! i stepped back for fear of it's guts spilling out on me. then he explained to me they grow every thing big in hawaii. i have no doubt. crazy editor from local gay magazine hosted a best buns or chest contest. every other word he was shusing the audience. drove me crazy. it's a bar for chrissake people aren't going to stop talking to listen to you drone on about 'hateful queens'. was hoping i would win one of the draws just to get up there and shush him. left angles and went to velvet video for a little r'n'r. it had been days since i had released my own pleasure. picked out a dvd for preview that was supposed to be 5 hours long, wasn't. got a bottle of local poppers as well. kinda harsh, giving me a bit of a headache on my second try. had a booth with only one glory hole in it which in retrospect seems to be quite lucky. had quite an assortment of guys come by and stick there fingers through. ick. at one point i put my back up against it so as to have a moment to myself. eventually i spotted a tasty boy through the glory hole out in the hallway, and i assumed he could see me watching cause he started playing with himself and it looked like for my benefit. bam. out of the blue another guy storms into the adjoining room and shuts the door. sits down and starts pulling his member. nothing special so i go back to the video. shortly thereafter another finger makes it's appearance. bah. i think i actually snorted out loud. then all of a sudden his cock comes into my room. of course i latch on. nice enough but nothing special and he does have a less then fresh smell. double bah. back to the porn. didn't take much longer and i swear it was one hell of a cumshot. wasted on a garbage bin to boot. unknowingly spent 4 hours tanning today. the time just seems to be fly by. mind you, it was on and off rain today. everytime it started raining *hard* i just headed into the ocean. was going to go straight back to the hotel but a charming gentleman gave me a $2 off coupon for hula's and hey what can i say? mama taught me well. who knows what trouble i get up to tonight. max's gym tommorow i think. aloha. 9:48 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2003 aloha! i have arrived in hawaii. sweet. the trip was rather uneventful. arrived at 11pm local time and was in the hotel and to bed by 1am. up at 7:30 and ready for the beach. went and tanned for about 2 hours. very yummy. already cruising up a storm. tasty good boy at the beach, younger then me, darker then me, hairier then me and with more metal sticking out of his body then me. less hair on the top of his head then me but you know how i feel about the solar panel! made it clear to my travelling companion i was coming up to www.hulas.com and was loud enough so he could hear as well. as i was leaving he started to leave so he could be here shortly. fun. oh, did i mention, the balcony from at the hotel affords me a lovely ocean view but also a delicious view of the back entrance to two porno theatres. paradise. 7:32 PM

Monday, November 10, 2003 yikes, less then 24 hours now. it actually feels like the calm before the storm right now. i half had it in my mind to pop into a bathhouse but i'll do that when i get to hawaii! :) gay sex has certainly been lacking in my life right now. my taste for straight porn certainly means i can't masturbation as "gay sex". oh my nasty penchant for buggery. 2:37 PM

Sunday, November 09, 2003 trauma drama madonna i thought i had everything under control but i've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. crazy. less then two days until i leave for hawaii and i'm not anywhere near ready. alright, that's a bit of a lie. i have everything i want to take in a pile, i think i have to do some severe editing though. all the toiletries alone must weigh 20 pounds. the hotel has a laundromat and still i think i've got more shirts then i could wear in two weeks. got a lecture today at work from the head honcho, he's upset i've taken two weeks off. did i mention for two of those weeks he's taking a week off? hmmm. i booked this vacation in june, have constantly been reminding them. now their worried about who will cover my shifts. last year this time i came back from mexico and one week later was fired from the job i was working at. one week! please don't let this be a repeat. hold tight for me diamond head, i'm a cummin. 9:41 PM

Friday, November 07, 2003 so i mentioned awhile ago a dancer i flirted with whose response was 'i'm not even your type' which automatically made him my type. really i don't have a type, i figure as long as there's a cock attatched...and his is a lovely long one. he's a shorter guy too. i mean how can that not be my type? though he was right, he wasn't my type. still we get along and i've been very curious about sex with him. this week he's magically appeared on my messenger list. god bless the internet. so we've had a few chats back and forth. in the back of my mind i've thought 'i have an in now'. he wouldn't let me take a picture of his dick at work but has sent me many pics online. not understanding the thrill is in taking the pic. i see him naked everytime he works. so last night it happens. i send him a little hello while i'm also playing bridge. obviously he's busy but we have a slow chat back and forth. i send him a file. laura (simone) by the scissor sisters, hot. mark my words on this one, big hit. anywho, he says he likes it then asks if i wanna fuck. yowza. unfortunately, i was playing bridge and the timing of our chat meant i didn't see this right away. i didn't know how to respond. i chose funny asking if he wanted to fuck to that song. he said sure but i didn't pursue. i mean, he was obviously busy with something else at the same time. whether chatting up others or just jerking off himself i don't know. though at one point in our chat he said i had his undivided attention i did not. check me out. apparently i need to be finesed, a simple 'wanna fuck' just isn't going to work. you mark my words here now as well. i will have him! my way!!! should i start counting the hours to waikiki? 12:32 PM

Tuesday, November 04, 2003 so yes i broke down and went to the bathhouse yesterday. i got there late afternoon and it was frisky. perhaps that was me but it was busy. a charming black man came to my door but started with too much talk. are you enjoying the music? in fact i wasn't. the conversation continued on his part and i lost interest. then this guy came to the door and started whacking his huge cock off right there in front of me. black guy still blathering on, he notices second guy and says 'oh your popular'. ummm, ya now either shut up or move on. second guys dick is really big, 8 maybe 9 inches and thick, quite a handful so i'm of course thinking my ass can handle it. he's fingering my hole, which i hate as a general rule but don't mind with him at all. i am however losing interest in first guy totally and want him to leave. second guy however figures i should fuck first guy. he sits on my dick while i'm still getting fingered. for maybe 30 seconds and then gets off leaving shit it seems everywhere on the sheet. runs from room. could be a dicey situation. i pull off condom with sheet and am grateful none is on me. pull off the sheet and throw it to the groung. second guy didn't realize first guy was dirty. i tell him i have to shower but he's welcome to wait in room. he'd come into the room carrying his pants and coat so i figured he might not have a room of his own. lucky me he stays. i return he says 'fingering my hole makes him want to fuck me', i don't need more then that. i lie down on the bed, take the weights off my ankles and let the helium do it's work. fits like a glove. i know i'm not going to last long and try getting it inside me in every position possible, he obliges. he asks me afterwards what my name is, duncan, to which he replies me too. i don't know whether i believe him or not. turns out he's from the boonies, asks me if i ever get out there. ya no. 'you should,' he says 'i'd give you this everyday'. it's love. 6:26 AM

Monday, November 03, 2003 it's 7 days until i leave for hawaii. i don't think i can wait 7 days for a taste of gay sex. no sir. i believe i'm going to risk it and find some hapless stud to fuck my ass today! got my hair cut and highlighted last week. today i went and began a little fake and bake so i have a bit of a base when i get there. today i also had my eyebrow cleaned up with a bit of wax. always nice to have two eyebrows. a european woman named olga did the brows for me. could it be anyone else? think i'll get out the clippers and mow down my hole. after all this beautifing i think someone deserves to abuse it. 3:40 PM

Saturday, November 01, 2003 now it's just 10 days until waikiki. practically tommorow. it seems i've given up sex until i get to the island. on tuesday it will be 3 weeks since i've enjoyed the company of another man. originally this was a cash saving idea, now i've turned it into a don't want to get a social disease before i go. it seems to me at certain times i can get the clap just from a handshake. it's all good, whether or not i make until hawaii is another question. yesterday there was a dancer back who hasn't been there for over half a year. last time i saw him was at a bathhouse, the time i could smell a dancer there, couldn't place him right away... anyway, he's a short little guy, nice cock, huge balls and i was all over him yesterday. i'm thinking to myself 'why didn't you do this at the bathhouse' but there it was. i was calling him my fluffer. as long as there was no one else in the booth he was ok with it. as soon as someone came to the door there would magically be a foot in between us. at the last minute yesterday i cancelled my plans to dress up for halloween. so fussy. the last time i dressed up was a couple of years ago. that time i was laura ingalls on crack. i had my own beautiful long hair braided off like laura, a dress from a friend that was right out of the 1800's and i had a pipe that i kept full of pot. i felt like it was a pinnacle. yesterday i was going to go out as a 'sketchy dancer'. I got the shiny pants, sneakers with the Coke logo, hair bleached out, 18" dildo in my pants, i just didn't have a top. nothing worked for me so i gave up twenty minutes before i left for work. next year! 8:55 AM