Wednesday, April 28, 2004 well well well today i'm going out to one of my favourite dancers house. i have pretend boyfriends at work, weekend boyfrieds and the occasional pretend fuck buddy, i think it's cute introducing dancers as my "pretend boyfriend" but i may be the only one. this dancer was my first pretend boyfriend and has now been elevated to the status of boyfriend. when i met his partner (what he calls him) i introduced myself as his boyfriend and then told the partner i was going to have to get rid of him. possibly bordering on psycho as opposed to cute. boyfriend and i have been very touchy feely before but never progressing past that. his cock is as thick as two normal cocks. my ass does a kliegel just looking at his member. i've been invited over to check out his new house and hot tub! at the same time though he also invited another dancer over. so i honestly don't anything sexual will happen. though i'm going to stop and buy a bottle of veuve in the hopes that he can't handle the bubbles and me at the same time. evil genius. from visage - fade to grey Sent la pluie comme un été Anglais Entends les notes d'une chanson lointaine Sortant de derriere d'un poster Espérant que la vie ne fut aussi longue 11:38 AM

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 went through the whole process of going out yesterday. got the clippers out and did a much needed trim. i'm not a hairy person by any stretch of the imagination, i can practically count the chest hairs i have but i tell you it looked like i had shaved a bear by the amount of hair on the ground. about the only place i am hairy is my ass and crotch, it had been since hawaii i think since i took the clippers to my ass. i also hadn't shaved my balls in at least a month. then i decided to go out and get some poppers. on the way i passed by the porno store and thought i'd rent some. rented one called '5 guy cream pie', so delightful. any one who thinks gays are disgusting should be checking this out first. 5 guys each fuck one girl and cum in here. then she produces the cum. absolutely filthy and of course it got me off. twice. tried a little late night online cruising. then considered a late visit to the baths. what was originally concern for my roommate has quickly turned into resentement. he's taken away my sex life. 1:05 PM

Monday, April 26, 2004 the weekend has just been crazy at work. i work like 5 hours a day but sometimes it takes it right out of me. fortunately for me i've had to work so much otherwise i'd be living on the streets at the moment. still no word from roommate. looks like i may be moving into a larger apartment with the ex and a friend he's been looking for a place with. i've also got a dancer interested in sharing this place with me until i leave, possibly taking it over from me. we'll see. i've promised myself today that someone else will be fucking my ass. someone else beside me that is :) 11:04 AM

Thursday, April 22, 2004 i feel like giving myself a mohawk ala lex so that i also suggest i am on the warpath. last night at bridge a hunch i've had was confirmed. roommate was in town last week and living at a bathhouse. he may still be living there now for all i know. fucker has left me high and dry while he's living la vida loca at the bathhouse. i wonder how much a monthly charge would be? 10:09 AM

Wednesday, April 21, 2004 it's funny me leading this semi-monk existence. it's not that i'm not horny, i am and i'm not sure why i'm not going after actual gay sex. i'll tell you though, my cumshots have been astounding. i'm shooting farther and consistently. as a general rule cum just sort of slides out, having it actually shoot out generally only happens when i'm getting fucked or at least having some sort of ass play. perhaps because i'm getting fucked so hard in life right now i'm giving that extra push when i jerk off. lol. yesterday i changed the locks on the apartment. as far as i'm concerned roommate wants to come back at this point that's fine but he comes back through me, not just waltzing in. as he's friendly with super i have not mentioned it or given a copy of the key as of this point. i would just see how he would let roommate in automatically if he returned. am having a yard sale may second with some delightful items at cut rate prices. a mirror that was at least $2500 when purchesed. i'd love love fucking love to keep it. it's so beautiful and it's beauty is only enhanced when i look into it but i think i can fetch $1000 for it at least. furthermore, it cost roommate $200 just to move it here, i can't incurr that sort of cost to move it. can i? one of my daily reads. friends have told him he's a dilf and i guess i'd have to agree. looks like a big yummy ken (or billy) doll to me though. i'll call him daddy but he's going to have to beat it into me :) 1:37 PM

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 wildgeek gay sex blog HA! mind you i've kept with the masturbation, in fact, it's become an addiction lol. it's the only time i'm not worried about my living situation. roommate had originally give may 1 as a cutoff date for his return. if he wasn't back by then i could consider everything mine to dispense with as i wish. now that i've payed april's rent in full twice (full rent + my half is not twice i know but...) i'm considering everything in the apartment mine and the apartment as mine now. why should i be waiting on him at this point? 11:32 AM

Saturday, April 17, 2004 i heard from the roommate. apologizing for leaving me in the dark but that he has always chosen to fight obstacles himself! no mention of the rent which i am now trying to scrounge together. gay sex! i've forgotten what that is. 7:47 PM

Thursday, April 15, 2004 the roommate sage continues. the rent cheque for april was not *honored* by the bank. one of the cryptic messages becomes understandable now, that he would get the rent to me by friday. tommorow. i wondered why he would be getting rent to me. i already payed the rent through him. the super knows little of what's going on, just that i haven't talked to the roommate in almost 2 weeks. so he wants the rent, in cash, by monday plus $50 for the bounced cheque. my concern for all involved grows. in fact it's nestled down in the front of my mind and makes room for little else. 8:02 PM

the roommate. today i hear from him. he has been conveying some cryptic messages to me through someone else. i sent him an email saying i didn't understand why he couldn't just communicate with me directly. as an aside i mentioned that i couldn't find my passport, did i just missplace it or was it *missing*? when i'm pretty sure it's just me misplacing it, happens with many things with me. i got a response which was basically "i don't have your passport". i gathered it would ire him somewhat and sent back an email basically saying i didn't think he had it...lol. at least i know he's reading my email. months ago he recommended balzac to me. first he recommended ayn rand actually and i read 'we the living'. i'd said it was very depressing and he gave me 'the painted veil' by maugham to read as an antidote. while in fact pushing me to read balzac. i started with 'lost illusions' and before i left for hawaii he gave me 'a harlot high and low' inscribed "perhaps for hawaii". i found lost illusions difficult to get into, i hadn't finished by the time i went to hawaii so i didn't take a harlot high and low with me and didn't want to take lost illusions as it was an older copy of it, and his. getting off topic even further i tried to read a jean genet book while on the beach in hawaii. 'our lady of ' something or other. cupping farts and huffing them just didn't seem suited to the sunshine. i ended up not reading. when i returned i did eventually finish lost illusions. having said before i finished it that i wasn't going to start harlot afterwards. not that i didn't like balzac i just thought i would need a break. ended up i had to find out what was happening to lucien. i was of course in love with lucien. while i was reading harlot roommate bought a copy of 'old goriot'. i said i wasn't going to read it after harlot but here i am starting it almost minutes after finishing harlot. the moral of this story. read some balzac. lost illusions is fine and dandy but you can skip right to 'a harlot high and low' or alternately titled 'scenes from a parisian life'. highly recommended. roomate is identifing himself as lucien at this point. not a good thing. 12:58 AM

Wednesday, April 14, 2004 mutual friend came over last night and we hashed out on the roommate. the roommate has always given off the impression of one of my favourite lines: whenever anyone asks what i do i say 'i'm independantly wealthy'. i stopped saying that after knowing the roommate for awhile as it seems he really is. i'm fairly certain roommate was at or near a computer for most of yesterday as he was signed into messenger. mind you, he could have just signed in to a computer and walked away. though i would think someone might sign him out if it was at an internet cafe. i am now at 9 days without having seen him. i'm ready to settle down for some hardcore masturbation time last night when i decide to quickly do a little cruise online. nothing intrigues me so i begin the personal abuse session. shortly afterwards i recieve a message from a barebacker about servicing his dick with my mouth and hole. i message back to him that i'm a condom only guy. i take another look at his dick and send him a message saying 'so yes i'd like to service you if it's wrapped'. his response isn't immediate but he does respond with a yes and his intersection asking how long it will take for me to get there. i figure on 20 minutes and i'm there in 30. he's naked when i get there and with porn playing. the guy on saturday had porn playing too. it sets a tone for getting right down to sex but then so does answering the door naked as last night did. i'm not opposed to porn playing, at all but it was noisy poor quality porn, i found that distracting. besides, i've got the greatest porn collection going, you want porn playing tell me! his dick was pierced, fat, uncut and between 6 & 7 inches. fat uncut cock, no wonder i looked at it twice and forgot my rule about playing with barebackers! i was sucking on it before taking my clothes off, even left my hat on. he referred to himself as daddy a couple times and then told me to get comfortable 'while i was enjoying daddy's dick'. i took my pants off only and climbed up on to the bed with him. i wasn't able to take it all but i was taking a good portion of it and when i would he would tell me to take it easy. then he said maybe you like it rough, maybe you want me to force feed you and he grabbed the back of my head and started ramming his cock past the gag reflex. if my hands had been anywhere near my dick at that point the evening would have ended. then he wanted to feel my teeth on his dick. i was acutally directed to bite on it and then harder. when i did he felt like 'exploding hard'. it really turned me on and i was just sucking and chomping. he told me to 'eat my cock like it's a piece of meat'. i was naked, playing with myself and chewing him down when he got me to lay down on my back. sucked on my dick for a bit sans teeth and then went to work on my hole. at first he was quite passionate about it, i was even going to suggest that he chew my hole like it was piece of meat, then it seemed he just stopped but kept his face between my legs. just as i was about to call it quits he reaches for a condom. only twice before have i seen what he does. placing the condom over his cock and his balls. the first time it happened i didn't know until after the guy had fucked me that he was fucking me with his balls as well. it was a painful time and afterwards i found out why. the second time i stopped the guy and said i wasn't going to let him fuck me like that. this time i'm sure but my hole started doing backflips watching him. unfortunately it was big let down. i don't think he stayed hard after he got in. i mean there was some inital discomfort at first but after that i felt nothing. there i am legs in the air, dick in my ass and i just want a dildo. after a bit i move to sit up and pull him out of me. the most sensation i get out of this fuck session. he asks if i like to fuck as well and i reply sometimes i do. i grab the lube, play with my dick a bit and he hands me a condom to 'let me wrap it up myself'. i give him an angry fuck all the time thinking this is how you should have been throwing it into me. i pull out, rip off the condom and cum on him. immediately followed by getting up and getting dressed. really, am i supposed to wait around for him to cum after that? he suggests that next time i won't be scared of him. 'scared?' which he then follows up with i seemed reserved at first. 'reserved?' i prefer the term well-behaved and if he thinks he's going to get a second chance. fat uncut cock or not! 11:44 AM

Tuesday, April 13, 2004 intrigue on top of mystery. for over the past week i have not heard from my roommate. hence my ability to entertain more freely. i thought nothing of it as before we lived together he was prone to disappearing for periods of time. his method of departure was a sore point with me. i woke up on the monday morning to find him at his computer, pleasantries were exchanged and then i went to the bathroom for my abolutions. i came out and the front door was just closing. i was going to call out to him to pick me up a pack of smokes i was thinking he was going to get his morning paper. hours later i noticed his toiletries were gone. i figured he went to his mom's and would be back on the wednesday for our weekly card fest. if nothing else i thought the host of last weeks bridge night would have heard from him as to whether he would be coming or not. when i was questioned as to his whereabouts i informed all of what i knew and they came to the same conclusion i did, he was at his mom's. saturday comes around and a mutual friend is at the apartment. he notices the lack of roommate's art on the walls. i had noticed certain pictures had been moved earlier in the week but failed to notice that at the same time art was missing. we both found it peculiar. mutual friend made email contact with roommate today. what i considered to be a *drying out* period seems to be something more. 4:04 PM

Sunday, April 11, 2004 the play date yesterday was routine. so very common. i called him at the appointed time from a payphone and close to the intersection where he told me he lives. he wasn't at home and wanted to call me back in two minutes. it's always fun telling people you don't have a phone. i call him back in ten minutes, he's home and wants to know when i want to come over. well, now tonto. 2:59 PM

Saturday, April 10, 2004 went out with two of the dancers from work last night after our shift. went to one of the newer all night bars. do you call it a bar if they don't serve booze? it mattered not as we were going to do k. got there and it was in a converted theatre. bars in theatres always freak me out a bit, all the levels you step through. the sound was amazing though, it's been awhile since i've been out to a larger dance venue (nice call). heard the peter rauhofer remix of strict machine by goldfrapp which i've been looking for for weeks. now i know why. the three of us took turns going to the bathroom to do bumps. the bathroom was sweet! monitored, as in you were waved into a cubicle that once you were in you were alone. like a dressing room at a larger department store. saw an absolute giant of a man. freakishly large but not freakish at all. he was built for two or three guys. eventually he had his shirt off and i couldn't take my eyes off him. using all my zing i still couldn't even get him to look at me sideways. was introduced to a nemesis from years ago by one of the dancers. i think he was going to *play* that we had just met but i let the cat out of the bag. all of a sudden we were *old friends* from way back. yikes. dancer b and he were trying to get dancer a in a threesome. dancer a and i left. walked back to my place with the sun coming up. he came up and we talked for hours. no booty but i've got the fuck date this afternoon i'm really looking forward to. this guy has told me he likes poppers (i told him i love them) and that a bit of pot can make him *slutty*. i'm down to the dregs of pot but i'm sure i've got enough for a pinner. slutty! 1:50 PM

Thursday, April 08, 2004 my libido has come right unhinged. i woke up in the middle of the night during the full moon this week, i woke up because i thought there was a light on in the room. noticed it was the moon and thought it odd because usually i'm quite intune with when the moon is full. usually for days leading up to it i *feel* it. sometimes with nasty headaches that don't go away until the moon is on the wane. it seems this time however the moons been effecting my sex drive while waning. tuesday i went to the bathhouse again. chewed through two guys before i got off. wednesday morning and afternoon we're spent masturbating with the dildoes. after that i went to bridge for the evening, ran into a friend on the way home and he came home with me for a quickie. i ended up ordering porn on cable and jerking myself off yet again. woke up this morning and figured i wouldn't masturbate for a change. checking emails when someone responded to my online ad. he was hot and a large dick, ad said 8.5 inches. i asked when he was looking to play and he responed 'now'. told him to give me half an hour so i could shower and rinse. he was at the door in twenty minutes. beautiful cock and he fucked like a porn star. told me at one point he could go like this for hours, i came. he pulled out, came on me and was out the door before i could even catch my breath. i made a date for saturday with another big dick and i've promised to myself no sex tommorow to save up for saturday. hey it is good friday after all. 3:14 PM

Tuesday, April 06, 2004 went to the bathhouse in the evening last night. seems like it's been awhile for an evening visit. was busy. as soon as i opened my door and sat down i had a customer. he walked past my door, turned around and asked if he could come in. he was tall, dark and skinny, real skinny. as soon as the door was shut i took off my towel and he sat his poppers down on my table. good thing as in a rush to get to the tubs i didn't bring my poppers. yikes. i started playing with his dick and he started squeezing my nipples too hard. i could feel him getting harder in my hand as he squeezed so i allowed it. i was hoping it was going to grow into something monstrous but alas it was barely average and like him it was skinny. i was weighing the options in my head when he announced he wanted to suck my *beautiful* dick. offered me the poppers and i declined. good thing too, they smelled old. i understand i'm freakish in my desire for fresh poppers but i think in reverse some people seem to develop an attatchment to a bottle of poppers. he asks from between my legs if i 'like 69'? i laugh. realizing the laughter was a bit rude i moved into a position where we could *69*. we're sucking each others cocks and i'm grabbing his skinny body. now i'm staring to think maybe i'd like to throw it in him. not sure why these wisps of men bring the top out in me but it didn't matter. he pulled out of my mouth and announced he was going to cum. all over my fresh sheets! i quickly caught it all in my hand, thinking that might betray my desire to keep my room fresh i rubbed it onto my chest. perhaps that seemed odder then trying to catch his load. he apologized profusely for cumming so quickly, telling me he really needed that. it took me longer to right about these events then it did for them to unfold. he asked how long i'd been there and i told him i just got there, he had as well. he left and i rewarded myself with a little personal masturbation time. certainly didn't want to chat with him in the showers. sex pitt was playing on the tv. finish my cigeratte and there's a knock on the door, a twist at the handle and then a 'are you in there?'. could it have been anyone else? i don't hear him walk away so i keep watching the flick. after a reasonable amount of time i make a dash for the showers and head back to the room. an inner debate rages as to whether i should open my door again. of course without the door open i'm not going to have much luck. a non-descript fellow walks by and flashes his huge member at me. hello come back here. he does. he's got his towel off before i even have a chance to go for mine. grabs me by the back of the head and directs me to his cock. another knock on the door. big dick says 'we're busy' and i decide i'm in love. i mean really, how presumptious, i must have him inside of me. after sucking his cock to an erect state he grabs a condom off my table. i get on my knees and hope he's going to slide in easy like. he turns me over on to my back, lifts both my legs and slides himself in with no hands! when he puts my feet on his chest i'm quite sure it is true love. alas after this he pulls out and shoots a load into the condom. pulls it off, grabs his towel and leaves. it's too much for me to handle. i jerk myself off. it wasn't my intention to cum alone but there it was. 10:55 AM

went to the bathhouse in the evening last night. seems like it's been awhile for an evening visit. was busy. as soon as i opened my door and sat down i had a customer. he walked past my door, turned around and asked if he could come in. he was tall, dark and skinny, real skinny. as soon as the door was shut i took off my towel and he sat his poppers down on my table. good thing as in a rush to get to the tubs i didn't bring my poppers. yikes. i started playing with his dick and he started squeezing my nipples too hard. i could feel him getting harder in my hand as he squeezed so i allowed it. i was hoping it was going to grow into something monstrous but alas it was barely average and like him it was skinny. i was weighing the options in my head when he announced he wanted to suck my *beautiful* dick. offered me the poppers and i declined. good thing too, they smelled old. i understand i'm freakish in my desire for fresh poppers but i think in reverse some people seem to develop an attatchment to a bottle of poppers. he asks from between my legs if i 'like 69'? i laugh. realizing the laughter was a bit rude i moved into a position where we could *69*. we're sucking each others cocks and i'm grabbing his skinny body. now i'm staring to think maybe i'd like to throw it in him. not sure why these wisps of men bring the top out in me but it didn't matter. he pulled out of my mouth and announced he was going to cum. all over my fresh sheets! i quickly caught it all in my hand, thinking that might betray my desire to keep my room fresh i rubbed it onto my chest. perhaps that seemed odder then trying to catch his load. he apologized profusely for cumming so quickly, telling me he really needed that. it took me longer to right about these events then it did for them to unfold. he asked how long i'd been there and i told him i just got there, he had as well. he left and i rewarded myself with a little personal masturbation time. certainly didn't want to chat with him in the showers. sex pitt was playing on the tv. finish my cigeratte and there's a knock on the door, a twist at the handle and then a 'are you in there?'. could it have been anyone else? i don't hear him walk away so i keep watching the flick. after a reasonable amount of time i make a dash for the showers and head back to the room. an inner debate rages as to whether i should open my door again. of course without the door open i'm not going to have much luck. a non-descript fellow walks by and flashes his huge member at me. hello come back here. he does. he's got his towel off before i even have a chance to go for mine. grabs me by the back of the head and directs me to his cock. another knock on the door. big dick says 'we're busy' and i decide i'm in love. i mean really, how presumptious, i must have him inside of me. after sucking his cock to an erect state he grabs a condom off my table. i get on my knees and hope he's going to slide in easy like. he turns me over on to my back, lifts both my legs and slides himself in with no hands! when he puts my feet on his chest i'm quite sure it is true love. alas after this he pulls out and shoots a load into the condom. pulls it off, grabs his towel and leaves. it's too much for me to handle. i jerk myself off. it wasn't my intention to cum alone but there it was. 10:53 AM

Monday, April 05, 2004 straight porn. why do i love it so? hang on, i know, for one thing the guys are freaking hot! oh ya daddy. straight porn remains the only place i'm going to see julian rios fuck the shit out of someone and spill his load. 11:43 AM

Friday, April 02, 2004 looks like julian rios is reading my blog. his own tasty website. fun! now if only i could convince him gay sex is the best sex. my latest porn crush has been on julio vidal. straight, gay or in between he does them all. i've seen him in a couple gay porns and i've come across him doing shemales on the weeb. now i find out he's down straight porn as well. sweet. 2:40 PM

Thursday, April 01, 2004 it would seem i've been on sex sabbatical. monday and tuesday i was still glowing from being a slut boy. yesterday i was going to go to the bathhouse just because i figured they'd be wondering where i was if i didn't. had a little personal masturbation time before going and ooops didn't need to go. boring. 8:37 AM