Saturday, June 26, 2004 big fat cock. that's what i went on the prowl for last night. to the theater. busy. had a weird little cute guy following me around. if he'd handled himself correctly i would have played with him. instead he would jump in front of me as i was walking and just stand there. me? not missing a step would just circumvent him. really, what kind of response was he looking for. was getting a lot of people touching me as i walked past. i stopped to check out a few cocks but they all seemed really small at first grab. uh oh. one of them i stayed and played with a little longer just because it struck me just how small it was. felt like half of my baby finger. so i find a dark corner and stop for a bit. along comes a guy who looks like tam elbrun from the tin man episode of star trek ting. except he didn't have red hair. not necessarily my idea of attractive however he sidles up next to me and starts playing with his cock in his pants. 'that's right baby warm it up for me!' i reach over and notice two things right away. it's hard and it feels mighty fucking big after all those small dicks. he takes it out of his pants almost as soon as i'm touching him. it has to be one of the fattest cocks i've held. in an area that i swear 30 seconds ago was just the two of us i notice at least 5 guys swarming. i wonder about getting that dick in my ass in front of a crowd. i drop down and start sucking on it. and not just a wham bam blow job. i worship his cock with my mouth. i was able to take most of it in my mouth and just have it rest at the back of my throat. he would ever so lightly grab the back of my head and just sort of sway. then the grabbing hands started. i'm on my knees and still someone can find a way at getting at my cock. and then shock of horrors someone starts trying to jerk this guy's dick off while i'm in the middle of sucking it. i stand up to extricate myself when big dick grabs my ass. i practically fall into the wall we're standing next to. he takes me by the hand and pulls me into a stall. i turn around to close the door and every guy is looking at us. when i turn around in the stall he's taken off his pants entirely and is sitting down on top of them. pulls me down by my shoulders to his cock and tells me i know how to treat him right. yummy. i stand back up to drop my drawers and again he grabs at my ass in that special way. i go back to work on his cock with my mouth and with my two free hands begin procurring lube and condoms. i envision sitting down on top of his dick but once i have him covered he stands up. i have to stand on my tippy toes to let him in. i take him in smoothly and start playing with my dick. i cum a little and stop touching myself. he fucks at a good pace. i'm sure i had some sort of ass orgasm when he called me a horny bottom. i start bouncing back on him. we've got a frenzied party going on in my ass. i'm stroking my dick again and just riding the crest of shooting. his dick slams into me the wrong way (?), he pulls out and my load just shoots right out. he tells me not to cum, then asks if i came, i tell him it's my second time. i let him fuck a bit longer but really i'm done. i stop and he says he's real close. i give him some hand for what seems like forever and again he says he's real close. you may be i think but i'm already out of here. 12:28 PM (0) comments

Friday, June 25, 2004 www.julianxxx.com so very diappointing. i found out a couple months ago julian rios was getting his own site and signed up to be notified when it was online. have i not blogged before about the notion of julian having his own site. yes. a little over a month ago the notice came that the site was live. i joined that moment. so very disappointing. no video clips, no julian store, basically just some photo galleries and a video chat system that never seemed operational. after a few days i sent a letter of complaint to the webmaster. his reply pissed me off even more. insisting that everything would be up by next week and that i should 'value' my membership. i replied that i didn't think my membership was being valued on their side. which prompted another email telling me everything would be up by the next week. flash forward one month and only one update had happened. some photo gallery updates. which lo and behold did have one set of just julian, in a tattoo shop topless, and oh right one pic with his pants undone and a hint of his lovely cock. which was very nice. i didn't expect anything like that but really that just wasn't enough for my money. unfortunatley i had to cancel my membership. without ever once seeing julian live. i'm sure it happened there was just never a schedule for it. hell i would have been happy watching him sleep. the idea of buying a julian dildo has also been on my mind for some time, guess i won't buy direct. 3:56 PM (0) comments

Sunday, June 20, 2004 the libido wakes up and i head to the porn theater. i've become quite obessed with finding the russian boyfriend it would seem as i'm at the theater every weekend now. alas, i don't find him this week either. mind you there's still tonight. one guy in particular catches my eye. someone i've lusted after for years it seems. i get his attention and he follows me about. i chicken out. i don't know. it just didn't seem right. i didn't want that quick and furitive sex with him. bah now i'll have nothing. i have some other takers as well but it seems my heart isn't in it. i watch some sex take place. not even getting fully hard. i head home and try the old internet. spent practically an hour talking to a guy. practically directing what will take place. fine. he wants to meet on the street as well. sure, ok. meet him at the designated spot and i'm right turned on. i find him hotter then his pic. we start off with kissing, yes i know, unusual. then he wants nipple play. fine. then the nipple play becomes, to me anyway, a little overwhelming. he wants me chewing on the one and playing with the other. i go along cause he says it goes right to his dick. which, hello, isn't hard. we move into the bedroom AND he calls his dog in with us. says "she'll be scratching on the door if i don't". i gloss over this in my head i guess. i mean leave her out and don't shut the door, problem solved? dog gets on the bed and we play off to the side. i guess i'm a little freaked about the dog being in the room and on the bed which would be why i play away from the bed. after a bit of this he moves to get on the bed, and leaves poocher on the bed. shouldn't she be shooed off at this point? we're on the bed and now he seems to be moving me towards the dog. that's it for me. dammit i'd even taken my socks off i was so into this guy. now, i have to end the festivites and have that awkward getting dressed period. as i'm tying my shoes up at the door it dawns on me i've been here before. sure, when i went into the building i thought i've been here but i mean there are many buildings i've done more then one guy in. so it's not until i'm tying my shoes up that the realization comes to me or that i put all the pieces together. i left for the exact same reason before...i felt it was leading up to K9. i mean, really, it was a jack russel terrier. how far can that go? fortunately on my way home i walk pass a bathhouse. it's 7am on a saturday. there's only going to be sketchy fags walking around. sketchy fags? i think i popped a boner before i got in. got my ass fucked quickly by a small but sturdy boner. got into a physical fight with a over eager suitor. this guy would not take no. i had to grab him by the wrists and remove him. while saying and still quite politely i might add 'thank you i'm ok right now'. to which he screams out 'fuck you'. the gentleman who cums quickly the first time but not as fast the second and third time sees this. i see him and smile. i know i'll get what i want now. he comes in and cums quickly the first time. i get off before his second time. i finger fuck him to his second time. fun. then he says it's the sixth time he's came that night. kudos my boy, kudos. 1:17 PM (0) comments

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 my libido is in limbo. a friend told me he wasn't going to have sex anymore without having a date first. the boy is far better at getting laid on the internet. i'm under the impression it can be more then one a day every day. he dosen't go to bathhouses and i'm sure if i could get it delivered properly everyday neither would i. now he's fed up and wants a boyfriend. over the last few weeks i've heard how he's told a couple of his regulars 'adieu' because he now expects a commitment. thinking to myself 'regulars are no longer regulars after commitment'. not mentioning this to him. yesterday he comes to me and says he thinks he needs to see a therapist. in the back of my head i've always thought i should go to sex addicts annoymous but realized even further in the back of head that this would just be about networking. as soon as he brought up therapist i knew where the conversation was going. he knew i knew and went directly into 'if i had something else to do during the day'. i've not been very supportive of his concerns and after each conversation we have i feel awkward. i've gone through the same thing myself. i remember giving up on casual sex. i guess now i just find it suits me. well that's not necessarily true. all of this boils down to my libido and the fact that i haven't had the company of another man in over a week. if you can get your hands on the paper faces mix of laura by the scissor sisters do. i want to say i've killed the original mix for myself but acutally it's the city hi-fi rockers mix that i consider the original. such a geek. 11:20 AM (0) comments

Tuesday, June 15, 2004 so last week i went for a dance with a dancer. my first ever. delightful. now i've done a small favor for a different dancer who will be offering me cash for said favor. i believe i'll be going for a dance first. 8:46 PM (0) comments

Friday, June 11, 2004 a quickie after work with a customer today. a first! never do i pick up customers (and this holds true as he picked me up). i've noticed him a couple times and today he actually spoke to me. at the end of the shift he asked if i was going anywhere. i said home. he seemed visibly disappointed so i asked him back. wasn't really sure what to expect. as soon as we got in i went for his cock. he asked if i had any condoms. it was fast. told me afterwards i smile when i get fucked and that's unusual. i like cock. :) 3:03 AM (1) comments

Tuesday, June 08, 2004 phew. this afternoon i had to putter about the city for a bit, stopped and rented some porn as well. got back home and checked out the internet sex scene. nothing grabbed me so i had a quick shower. came back and the guy who stopped slapping me once i gave one to him had messaged me. i was just going to watch the porn so i asked him over. arrived quickly. smoked a joint and then got down to business. while i was sucking his cock he asked if i had a camera. told me to take some pictures. i was far more interested in him taking some pictures. i took some quick snaps then handed the camera to him. he wanted to see the head of his dick in the shots. bah. there was one good one where i'm right down on his cock. will have to shrink it down and post it. he announces he's just going to lie back and relax while i service him. i reach for the condom. however, he puts it on. this is not servicing. bounce bounce. at a couple points he's supporting my shoulders. i grabbed his hands and put them on my throat. he really liked this however he wasn't content to hold my throat. he plugs my nose and covers my mouth. then of course the slapping starts up again. this time he's not as hard so i allow it. i'm not really thrilled about the nose plugging though. i tried to take a small break at one point but he would have none of it. eventually i just jump up off of him and run to the bathroom. rinse my face off and grab some air. he's lying in the bed and jerking off. i snap back into sex mode. as i come into the room he asks for another condom. i go to ride him again but he wants me face down. so now he's on top of me (big guy), in me and covering my mouth and nose. i swear i could have peed my pants. he wears himself out though and lays back down. this time i bounce with my back to him. pulls me down on to him, takes his dick out, starts kissing me and cums. he cums alot and i'm able to break free long enough to get one spurt on my cheek. no pictures of the fucking unfortunatley. 5:30 PM (0) comments

Monday, June 07, 2004 a weekend meant to be bereft of gay sex was filled with it. i ended up at the theatre again saturday night, just in case my new boyfriend was there. sucked two guys right off. one of them just had the most delicious dick, and i sucked him off through a glory hole, was very hot. he just kept banging the hole. i was very close to wrapping his dick up and getting fucked through the glory hole, however i was on the side that was public and just wasn't ready to create that much of a spectacle of myself. found a guy in his thirties with a good sturdy cock. not nearly long enough but thick. lead him into a stall and pounced him. they had announced the place was closing so i had him covered and in my ass in no time. apparently he wanted to get off and get out of there though. me i thought i was just taking him for a test drive, if it all worked out i would have brought him back to my place or did him a little longer out in the alley. he came before i could do either. got home and cruised the internet. i figured early sunday morning was going to be a good time for getting layed but it ended up being quite exhausting. eventually i lucked out with a jeff probst look alike. i had seen him a couple times before online and i think we may have exchanged preliminaries before. told him i'd like to work out some survivor fantasies with him. told me he was just waking up. fine, but your waking up and signing into the cruise network, you must want some. which of course he did. apparently after i told him i had been up all night he decided he better get over here before i passed out. i saw swimming trunk shots but no actual cock shots of him before he came over. he said 'hung' in his ad. i was disappointed, if your average don't try to stretch it. it doesn't work. i ended up watching porn while he fucked me. no survivor fantasies enacted. so, after this night of debauchery i couldn't go home. ended up going to the theatre last night again. just in case boyfriend was there. will i never find him. there was a twentysomething who looked like a biker/zz top band member. the beard freaked me a little. he had a nice cock. i entertained the idea of bringing him home as well. we started playing together and then a group thing eventually formed around us. i became uncomfortable and extracted myself. after that i couldn't find him again. ended up leaving without getting fucked, which seems to be unusual for me these days. 12:15 PM (0) comments

Saturday, June 05, 2004 jake gyllenhaal no my love affair never subsided for him. noticed him on the cover of details in conjunction with the day after tommorow. unfortunately that was after i chose to see troy instead of the day after tommorow. bah. brad pitt must have an ugly ass if he's not going to show it. anywho, i currently have found my jake substitute working at the local grocery store. got that whole donnie darko vibe going one and blimey he works in a grocery store (the good girl). in all likelihood very very straight. in my fantasy world though he's not having much luck with the girls. brings my groceries home for me, oops i left porn playing. straight porn of course. we imbibe some social lubricants, one thing leads to another. it's love. occasionally i pick up a $5 crack whore so he can play with some titties. i film it so we can both watch it later while he fucks the shit out of my ass. we sell the tapes on the internet. move to hawaii. life is sweet. today i purposely let him catch me eyeballing him. am i now psycho slut? 4:22 PM (1) comments

Friday, June 04, 2004 i think, unfortunately, this will be a weekend bereft of gay sex. my headache has finally disappeared (again is it coincidence that it leaves just after the moon is full?) and i get to feeling horny with no time. it was a sad day everywhere for computers the day duncan learned the art of the format. even with my own computer i think to myself 'huh, it's been awhile since i formatted' and whoops there i go. my parent's anniversary and my father's birthday is also this week so a trip home will be necessary on sunday. there goes my weekend filled with gay sex. of course, i'll need to sneak off to the theatre on saturday night. my new boyfriend may be there and i can run the chance of missing him. poor horny duncan. 1:22 PM (0) comments

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 stayed home yesterday and watched bad porn. shouldn't there be warnings? this porn is no good. i have a fondness for the 'private' line of straight porn. 9 times out of 10 the guys are hot and with big dicks. it was one of the 'casting' series. awful. maybe it's geared more towards straight guys then other straight porn. lol. they interview the girl before they show her big scene. dull. now, if they switched it around and interviewed the guys first, that could be interesting. in fact, private has come out with a gay line of product that is crap. what they should be doing to target the the crazy homos like myself is interviewing these guys they've got in the straight porn. a little solo scene, have him talk about fucking chicks like any number of other gay sites ... magor hardon for example, a couple leading homoerotic questions and then show us as he fucks some chick. honestly, check out some of the private gay videos and tell me i'm wrong here. the most airy fairy of gay porn i've seen, like bel ami with wings. 12:25 PM (0) comments