Tuesday, September 28, 2004 unlimited free gay sex. i have received another get in free to the bathhouse pass. i think it's been over two months now since i've shared the camaraderie of men dressed only in towels. i will not jinx anything this time and before i go to sleep each night i will give the pass a little kiss. 10:32 AM (0) comments

Sunday, September 26, 2004 i actually turned down gay sex last night! after work i went over to steven's to assist him in building a rack for over the toilet. afterwards we watched a little telly. for the past two nights i've not slept well and so i told steven i was going to go home. now keep in mind, i've been there for over 2 hours at this point. it's then that he decides to start making moves. had he attempted something before the tv viewing i'm sure i would have acquiesced but i was ready for sleep. besides, i hadn't a cigeratte. 11:04 AM (3) comments

Thursday, September 23, 2004 steven called shortly after i blogged yesterday and came over for a snack. the snack was not me. in fact shortly after coming in he went for the computer. kids these days. blah blah blah suffice is to say gay sex was not had before the roommate came home. we ate and then steven was off to the gym but asked me to come over to his place when i was done with bridge. i wasn't done at bridge when my phone rang (will cell phone wonders never cease?) and i knew it was steven (which isn't such a surprise when only 2 people have your number). i went over and he was eating. he puts on a movie and i think i've made a dreadful mistake in going over. dammit i want sex. as sex isn't happening, and i feel like i'm not getting the attention i richly deserve i feel it's time to bring up us. he takes it as me asking for a commitiment from him. it seems only fair he thinks this as he also thinks i'm not comfortable with idea of a threesome. i debate clearing this up but i feel like the conversation is him breaking up with me. i find he is droning on a bit and repeating himself. at one point he brings up his maturity and in flash he brings up how young he is. all the time i'm debating whether to go to a bathhouse or the theater. he's had the chance to 'do me' twice now and i don't think there needs to be a third. the theater had a few i was intrigued by. the first guy wouldn't let up sucking my dick though. two distinctly different group scenes evolved around us in the time he spent sucking my dick. cum sluts beware, if your sucking on my cock in a public place expecting me to cum it ain't going to happen. furthermore, i'm going to use the oppurtunity to cruise. which is how i happed upon a delicious blond muscle boy, watching me intently. at least i assumed at that time it was me he was watching. when he finally gave up i rinsed off and began the search for blondy or whatever came my way. i came across blondy walking towards me, we eyeballed and i kept walking. he followed. we found a nook and went at it. he was right on my dick and i thought i had another cum slut. fortunately, he stood up and i got the chance to go at him. not long, but thick with a fat chewy foreskin. tasty sweet. we took turns sucking each other's cock. he commented on how beautiful my cock was, a statement i generally dismiss, and i thought damn now i can't tell him he has a lovely cock. i went back at his cock and he announced he was close. finished him off. it was getting late and i didn't feel like investing the time in sex any longer. 11:03 AM (0) comments

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 gay sex has been eluding me. or so it feels. after steven's repeat request for a threesome and questioning whether we had an open relationship i thought it best to let 'us' cool off. sure, as far as i'm concerned i'm free to go out and look for sex but i didn't. yesterday steven called, wanted to come over and use the internet. i fell asleep shortly after he arrived. he woke me up to tell me he was going to the gym. we made a sort of loose date for today but i abused myself early and i'm not sure i want to hook up now. whether he calls or not i guess will be the deciding factor. on a brighter note, i will be sunning myself in puerto vallarta in less then 2 weeks. watch out guapo i'm on my way. 3:38 PM (0) comments

Sunday, September 19, 2004 right, so i get to steven's for what should be our first uninteruppted sex in a long time, as well a christening for his new place. instead we're going out. friends of his have opened a bar which he helped with getting ready and he wants to check it out. we get there and it is totally not what i expect. sort of restaurant bar and a little more schwanky then i'm dressed for. crowded and mostly straight. i was introduced to so many people, none of them did i bother to remember the names of as i'm sure they didn't with me. the owner was an interesting piece however. tall, lanky, britsh, dressed in a suit and making no qualms about his interest in steven. fun. another guy comes over and gives steven his card. after the drink i say i'm leaving. steven wants another drink. we head to a leather bar. porn playing has some fisting and piss. steven exclaims quite loudly 'they're pissing in his mouth'. turns out he finds this unacceptable and thinks they shouldn't be playing it in the bar. i explain that everyone has their own likes/dislikes and forcing it on others is wrong. i draw a comaparison to his family's dislike for gays. this is different though because 'it's disgusting'. bah. back at his place and i think we're about to get down and nasty. then he announces he really wants a threesome. fine. then he suggests two of the guys i was introduced to at the bar. neither of whom payed any attention to me while i was there. i tried to explain that it's not really a threesome if one person sits out. tell him i'd rather have a threesome with some one neutral. he'd like to have sex with these guys though and since he met them after he met me, and do i want an open relationship. however it wasn't phrased exactly that way, it wasn't in the form of a question alex, and he moved on quickly. the first time anything was brought up about relationship. i think he's left with the impression i don't want a threesome which is not the case at all. we had quick sex and i left. he expected me to stay but he also expects me not to smoke while i'm at his place. 'this will be your excuse' he says. he was supposed to call yesterday but didn't. while we were walking between bars he stopped to do up his shoes. he ties his laces the same way i do, with two bows, often i've been made fun of for this and i've never noticed anyone else who did it. i pointed it out, he didn't make much of it. i seem to have. 3:43 PM (2) comments

Friday, September 17, 2004 after work tonight i go over to steven's place. i predict hot gay sex! no interuptions. no roommate. yes please. for a house warming i bought him some glasses and i stocked up on lube and condoms. my bottom hurts just thinking about it. i have not cum in days! 4:47 PM (0) comments

Thursday, September 16, 2004 i drank red wine last night at bridge last night. a sentence which seems so wrong in a gay sex blog and unless i'm really an old lady masquerading as homosexual sex addict. after bridge i considered going out for a cocktail, though decided to head home. on the way i checked my messages (who knew cell phones would be so fun, yesterday i was out walking and discovering i have amazing reception) and there was one from the friend taking me to peurto vallarta, he was having computer problems. i thought i'd check with him when i got home. then i realized, i'm mobile baby. turned around in his direction and gave him a call. was able to fix the problem in a jiff. watched some bootleg videos of the madonna reinvention tour. got the 20 questions on steven. listened to his latest escapades with a man. drank scotch on the rocks. made my way to the theater. really i was just going to soak up the atmosphere. i thought as i was leaving i could go to a bar for a drink but i was already pretty much there booze wise. booze wise lol. there was no hot water in the apartment yesterday so i wasn't going to let anyone suck on my cock. that would limit it to me sucking some cock. sucking cock would fall under the soaking up of atmospere i think. it was actually quite busy for a wednesday night. two guys were walking around naked and one was in his underwear. unusual. a shorter, older, kinda cute in a 'dorky way' guy approached me. i must admit he had caught my eye. i would have sucked him off but his approach was all wrong. hands all over the place and conversation. i couldn't understand what his first question was and asked him what he had said, then he asked me how my night was, what had i been doing and i realized i was in the middle of a conversation. yikes. removed his hands and got right out of there. a guy i ususally see at the bathhouses was there. i find him attractive but don't understand him. over the years i've played with him countless times but never for more then a minute. he would come in the room i was in, do a touchy feely and leave. there was a point when i would stop him but then he would just come again later, it was just easier to let him do his thing and move on. i'm not the only one who has noticed his behaviour, i've talked about it with two other people. he came at me first last night in a busy area. i walked away from him. afterwards i thought to myself he comes up to me again i'm just going to be aggresive and do what i want to him. he did approach me again, he did get me hard and he did leave. i went home. 10:49 AM (0) comments

Wednesday, September 15, 2004 spent the day painting with steven and his godfather. his caucasian (or mulatto) jamaican godfather, who i remember steven telling me something about the whole gay thing. either he dosen't know, or he knows and isn't happy about. trust me not clarify that beforehand. soon after i was there the first gay comment came out. something about a waiter at a restaurant customers asked for, though the customers weren't sure what his name was so they made a fluttery motion with their hands and suggested he was a butterfly. the punchline, the butterfly didn't care cause they tipped 30%. having lived with a butterfly waiter for 12 years i know 30% is acceptable. i mean, my butterfly wouldn't come home and say 'and they tipped 30%'. steven spent more time dancing and singing to crazy hip hop. the radio station was playing some new jay-z & r.kelly collaboration from a reissued jay-z and r. kelly album. they talked over the beat before the actual song started, then the song either sampled crazy in love by beyonce or they had some mix of crazy in love with the same beat. then another song with the same freaking beat. if it's new i thinks to myself how comes there are all these versions of it. the something that was based on la isla bonita and i started wondering how people can get off saying dance music is the same beat over and over. anywho, at any point that the godfather was in another room steven would start fondling me. blowing me kisses and winks as well. basically just getting me all horned up. then steven left to get us food (as he was the only one doing nothing) and i started to fear being left alone with the godfather. stupid me, i said why are you getting delivery when the place is less then a block away. a smattering of small talk, leading to where i was from, i imagine leading to what's my background. i was getting ready with the whole i'm adopted line, which always shuts people up who won't give up when it turns out he wants to know how they treat gays where i grew up. obviously, he knows, i think. i'm stymied. getting ready to say i'm an adopted gypsy (total lie) i'm instead discussing attitudes towards gays. conversation ends. food arrives. steven keeps getting more and more overt with me, as if he wants to get caught. i do not. when i tell him to stop he starts singing 'my place' (nelly i think but ps he sings in a falsetto which is kind of nelly). whether or not it is his place i don't think we need displays of affection while we're working, even though it makes me very hot. after 5 hours of hard work i excuse myself. actual moving in takes place on thursday but i did not commit to it. as the bartender says in beaches 'i've got a bad back'. 2:20 AM (2) comments

Monday, September 13, 2004 steven moved this weekend and is now only a few blocks away from me. i was supposed to help him paint yesterday but he never left a phone number for me to return his calls. which is quite true but i had no desire to go help him paint. his godfather was going to be there assisting him. all of his family is opposed to the fact that he's gay. i don't want to be thrust into that situation. i've had my share of homophobia and attempts to overcome it. thank you. 9:04 AM (0) comments

Thursday, September 09, 2004 first off, i have joined the land of the living! got a cell phone this week and it's already buggered up some tasty gay sex for me. steven was to come over today for an ass pounding but i didn't realize the phone was set to vibrate only. steven went home when i didn't answer. bah. later we talked for 20 minutes as he told me how i picked the wrong phone and the wrong plan. double bah. as per threesomes... yes, i love threesomes. in fact, i look forward to threesomes with steven where i can attempt double penatration! i hesitate to add here that we have already had a threesome, which i pointed out to steven when he brought the subject up. though it was just oral which steven pointed out to me. keep in mind i was in an open relationship for 12 years. well, the first two years were monogamous. then we started experimenting with threesomes. which evolved into the only time i had sex being a threesome. which then evolved into an open relationship. past baggage which should really have no bearing here, it's just that if this is the beginning of a relationship, there will be no possibilty of it ever being monogamous. ideally, i'd like to find a monogamous relationship, where condoms no longer become necessary. really, i should just relax. it's good sex. 6:42 PM (0) comments

Tuesday, September 07, 2004 steven woke up and as expected nasty gay sex followed. it seems his favourite position for fucking is the missionary position which i have absolutely no complaints with, my favourite too. although, he also loves to suck on my nipples while he's fucking me, making the jerking of my dick a little difficult but again, i'm not going to complain. i did get to cum twice yesterday. as far as what i consider steven now i'm really not sure. depending on who i talk to i sometimes refer to him as my boyfriend but i don't actually consider him a boyfriend. however, i have become pretty exclusively his. yesterday he brought up the fact that he wants a threesome, not a normal boyfriend-boyfriend request. who knows? all i know for sure is i've said a bundle not going to the baths and the baths are now wondering what's happened to me. 3:43 PM (2) comments

Monday, September 06, 2004 steven popped by yesterday shortly before i had to go to work. poor thing, complained that he hasn't been able to sleep since starting the night shift. i told him to consider it jet lag. he asked if he could come sleep with me today. of course i had to comply, which meant waking up at 8am to let him in. sleep quickly turned into sex. nice. morning sex can be so much fun. i got off rather quickly and left him hanging. bad duncan. however, now i watch him sleep and just get hornier and hornier waiting for him to wake up. as steven would put it 'nasty'. 2:44 PM (1) comments

Saturday, September 04, 2004 steven started a new job this week, night shifts, which left me free for the first friday in a long time. the roommate went out for the night as per usual. me, i stayed home and abused myself for what seems like the first time in forever. saving cash is now the upmost in my mind, puerto vallarta in less then a month, and so staying in seemed the most econmical thing to do. i've said it before and i'll say it again: 'all work and no gay sex makes duncan a frustrated boy'. 10:40 AM (0) comments

Thursday, September 02, 2004 i unloaded some of my rental problems yesterday on steven via the internet. he was very sweet and understanding. he ended up coming over to the apartment for a little while before i left for my wednesday night bridge ritual. there was time for some action but instead he wanted to see which videos i had with double penatration in them. i originally thought that was going to lead up to a quickie but when i got out of the shower and paraded around naked he continued to watch the video. even after i asked him to show me his cock, which he did. he pulled it out, and went back to the video. i should have said 'you want to watch them have gay sex or do you want to do it?' but instead i got dressed and told him it was time to go. 7:25 AM (0) comments