Friday, January 28, 2005 sea sex and sun i leave for vallarta in 15 minutes :) 2:33 AM (2) comments

Friday, January 21, 2005 maybe it's the time of year, january has always been my least favourite month. maybe it's the fact that i'm leaving for puerto vallarta in one week, you know i've stopped having sex just so as not to pick anything up before going. or maybe, just maybe i don't want to prattle on about my theories of lost, cause, right, i don't have any. i'm lost as it were. i mean check out that website, i think it's some sort of game but for the life of me i can't figure it out. fortunately i've had treasure island media to keep occupied. i'm not going to debate the ins and outs of bareback porn, i do that enough in my own head. i will say it's a unique site. they don't necessarily have as much content as other porn sites however the price to join is reflected in that and i respect that. it's nice they bring you porn at a more affordable price instead of trying to milk you. the content they do have is top notch as far as i'm concerned. well, maybe top notch isn't the right descriptive word. it's fucking horny as hell is what it is. and in case i wasn't clear off the top, only 7 days until i bask myself in the glory of the mexican sun. please don't mention margarita though, i'm pretty sure i still won't be able to stomach one. i'm going to try my damndest to get some mexican weed this time. you know i have not bought pot now in over 2 months! sure, i've smoked it here and there but the funds just aren't there anymore for me to support that habit. unfortunate. 10:42 AM (2) comments

Saturday, January 15, 2005 gay sex purgatory. with less then two weeks to go until my puerto vallarta extravaganza i've decided to take a break from the pursuit of sex with a couple different factors coming into play. whenever i'm going away i think it's good to take a break beforehand, you don't want to take the risk of picking up a nasty social disease just before leaving. no no no. carlos and i had discussed our relationship prior to me leaving the last time. obviously it was going to be open, however, i made the mistake of being 'somewhat' honest with him a little while back when he asked me point blank how many guys (actually he asked me how many gays, he always misspells guy as gay) i'd had sex with since coming home. i lowballed the number dramatically. still it got him upset and i asked him 'did you want me to lie to you?' which is what i've done since. i think i can go without it for the few weeks leading up to our reunion. furthermore, finances are not allowing it. without the free gay sex pass to the bathhouse i've had to limit my visits. the online cruising always end up in masturbation. i've even gotten to the point where i've thought of calling up steven and asking him over. bah. like i said, i'm sure i can make it... 5:52 AM (0) comments

Monday, January 10, 2005 slipped into the theater last night for a little man to man action. sucked on a chewy cock that never really got hard, at the start i entertained the idea of getting fucked by it but as it never showed me it's full potential. then a short guy with what must have been a nine inch cock gave me a show with his cock, absolutely beautiful cock but it never went past looking, a show off i guess! i finally nab a long one, get him locked into a cubicle and both of us undress. mutual cock sucking abounds. he's very touchy and comes across me playing with my own ass, i figure this is a quick way to get what i want. he dosen't seem to want to play with my ass. i don't make too much of it at the time but in retrospect... i get bored of waiting so i put a condom on his dick. i mean he's hard, staying hard and i want to wrap myself around him. he remains seated and i have to sit down on him. i get my groove of bouncing on and he says 'let's take a rest'. ummm okay. i am horny though and continue playing with myself while he suddenly takes off the condom as well. okay. i consider waiting for him to leave. he's getting dressed and i decided i should shower so begin dressing as well but at a much later start up time then he. i figure, he'll be dressed and gone before i'm done. however, he asks if i mind if he smokes. not at all, i says continuing to dress. what's going on is running through me head though. i pick up the dressing pace. just as he starts to ask what i've been doing tonight i am finished dressing. i unlock and walk out but at the same time i answer him and say 'this'. was he expecting pillow talk when he didn't even get me off? i shower and end up in one of the 'theater' rooms, basically a room with the soundtrack to a porn playing but the screen is black. dark. i sit down and start playing with myself. i attract a crowd of onlookers, most of who are playing with their dicks through their pants. bah. there must be 6 - 8 guys, including the ones who sort of mill in and out of view. i stand up, walk to the middle of the room and plant myself on my knees. no one comes over right away. all of a sudden one of the guys who was milling around almost stumbles over me. he backs up a bit, earlier he had purposely brushed up against me. i take three strides on my knees and plant myself in front of him. now zippers are opened and the gentlemen crowd in. my paramour pats me on the head and makes a quick departure. i take the first cock in my mouth. i end up sucking on three different ones before a cheezy one is thrust in my face. i leave. run into paramour in the halls and he tries to seduce me into a more private space. i've lost interest. really, where can it go if he chickens out of a little group grope. i end up with a dark skinned asian guy with a fat cock. not terribly long but mondo thick. it fits in my ass nicely. plows me nicely, i get very close but he cums first. he's stroking my cheeks after he's pulled out and i shove his hand toward my ass. i don't often get 'frigged off' but i guess i was ready. came home for the clean up. tonight i got myself very nicely with a dildo and no poppers. even though i have an unopened bottle waiting to be sprung. i should add, in some sort of twist of you shouldn't shit where you eat, i applied for a job at the theater last night before going in. fingers crossed. 3:51 AM (2) comments

Saturday, January 08, 2005 no gay sex but still i feel have much to report. the official countdown has begun to puerto vallarta, 20 days. though i don't mention carlos much (we're not really having sex at this point) i do talk to him every day. okay, maybe not everyday but 5 days out of the week we talk. we talk online quite a bit and i almost always have my webcam turned on. i don't get to see him as often because the cafe he goes to only has one computer with a webcam and it's often not available. i've spent countless dollars on phone cards as well. don't think the thought of selling everything i have hasn't crossed my mind. carlos wants to come here instead though, and the current plan is he does come here in the spring. after high season in vallarta. we'll see though. which is what he often says "we'll see" and then explains to me how he's a realist. i don't let on that i too am skeptical. in all honesty we will see. had i still had someone sharing the rent with me, not even splitting it fairly but helping out with expenses as best as they could it would make all the difference in carlos coming here. i would have been able to afford to buy his ticket. which brings me to the current situation with asshole. fack. for seven freaking months i was his doormat. bending over backwards to accomodate him in a place i was paying for. that fucker. so i think he really did go to the police, or at least tried to because the tone of the messages he is relaying to me has changed. now instead of demanding items he's asking for specific items politely. too little too late as far as i'm concerned. furthermore, now i know what he values and can attach my own value to them for a fair return on the money owed to me. a few items that he specifically asked for, a spider man poster, were earmarked for the garbage. in fact i checked online to see if it was at all valuable (world trade center in spidey's eye) but saw no interest for it. would have thrown it out days ago but now it is locked up inside the apartment. i expect i'll get far more for it now then i ever would have selling it online. there was one other item that i'm hesitant to mention out loud. i knew about it and knew it was here. as soon as i read the request for it i almost threw it out knowing it was in the apartment. it's not a gun but for the sake of argument let's say it is. i've decided i will return it to him as a show of good faith. anything else though has a dollar amount attatched to it. you can afford to buy booze then you can afford to buy the items you consider dear. i realize in some way i am being a prick but at this point, after how i've been treated, i think it only fair that he gets what he has given to me. spent some 'quality time' with a friend and his dog tonight. me, who has a general rule dosen't like dogs. smoked like three joints, which, if my calculations are correct is more then i've smoked the rest of this year combined. sure that may not seem like much but i can remember a time where i had a joint with my morning coffee. memories, like the round smooth corners of my ass. 3:51 AM (0) comments

Thursday, January 06, 2005 no gay sex yesterday (some heavy duty coping masturbation though) and none today either i presume. woe upon woe. my former roommate, who i bent over backwards for for seven months is now threatening to go to the police on me!?! i must say he's got nerve. seven months ago when he took my rent for the month of april and spent it as he saw fit instead of paying the rent and leaving me with the bill, i was kind hearted enough to allow him to return. stupid stupid stupid. before he left he sent an email to a friend saying if he didn't return by such and such a time everything in the apartment was mine. he didn't return by said time and fortunately i have this friend to back up this. after i did let him back in he said to me "i consider everything here yours". as do i! now through same friend he is letting me know that he wants to deduct the value of these items (already mine remember) from what he owes to me since i let him return. so in fact, he thinks i will buy these things i don't even want from him twice. as soon as he threatened me with going to the police i made some inquiries of my own. turns out he's screwed. i bet he wishes he'd packed more then a bottle of rum and coke when i asked him to leave. moron. 1:30 PM (2) comments

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 my first time out in 3 months without the free gay sex pass (it expried on the 30th). like i think i mentioned last week, tuesdays are the new weekend! not as busy as last week but still quite enough for me. the first guy in seemed enthralled with giving me a hand job, and my head was quite sensitive. i said i needed a break and he told me what a nice cock i had. his accent (eastern european) turned me on and i started sucking him off. he told me he was close and maybe a break was a good idea but didn't leave. i put a condom on him and i thought he was going to cum from the act of putting on the condom. i waited a minute before riding him for a minute. hey, i was warned it would be quick, i just think it's good to get that first cumshot under your belt. good ju ju. another european (eastern i assume again, accent comes into play later) walks by door. big tall guy and i wonder why he's not coming in. he walks by again, stops and walks off. finally he walks right in and starts pawing me. i remove his towel and start stroking his cock, it dosen't seem like it's going to get long but i can tell it's thick. i go to put it in my mouth and he turns away to put a condom on. i have only played with a handful of guys who want condoms for oral sex and have actually declined blowjobs where they requested i put a condom on. i'm noticing how thick his dick is and don't mind the taste of a condom. in fact, he's hard and wrapped up, i grab the lube and assume the doggy position. i'm very careful not to play with myself too much, his cock fits so snug in my ass i don't want to blow my load. slaps me a number of times but not my ass, higher up, i don't mind. i turned myself over and he lifted my legs up. the moans emanating from me were likely quite humurous to passerbys. i like to slap the ass of a top or even just grab his ass to get him to fuck me harder but he was so big i couldn't reach. when he put my ankles on his shoulders i didn't have to worry about my desire for faster, all of a sudden he was banging me like an engine. i sensed i was going to cum and told him so, he slowed down and just pushed his thickness deeper into me. next thing i knew i was watching my cumshot land on my face. a sight i have only seen a few times before. without thinking i started liking it off of my face, which apparently put him over the edge from the moans. he pulled out and i was amazed at how much cum he had fit into the condom. me, i'm still wiping cum off my eyes and getting it out of my nostrils. amazing. he asked 'you like?' and all i could do was giggle. i showered and debating leaving. when i got back to my room someone pushed himself in behind me. i turned around and was ready to tell whoever it was to leave, but then assumed it must be someone i know they were so forceful. it wasn't. it was this cute young tall guy, practically a wisp. forceful kissing and rubbing. in no time we were 69ing and then he was eating my ass. i myself went for a bit of his ass as well. after rimming me but good he tried the old 'i don't need a condom to fuck you' and i covered him up. though any other time i would have loved his fucking, after that last guy i just wasn't that into it. he pulled out and took off the condom. i went for his ass, eating it before fucking him. didn't get to fuck him long when he squirmed away, sat up and said 'it's not you it's me'. ummm, okay, time for you to go. sucked two guys off in the steam room, one a shorter guy with a huge cock. tried to get him to my room but it failed. played with another guy who i've played with recently and knew i could get fucked again if i wanted. i didn't. 3:10 AM (0) comments

Monday, January 03, 2005 when i came home new year's eve i knew i would be satiated for some time. however, having an apartment to myself means i've been abusing myself almost continually. i've toyed with the idea of having someone over but really toying with myself is getting me what i want. tommorow i tell myself (and this time i mean it), tommorow i'll get someone over here to fuck my ass right. 1:52 PM (1) comments

Saturday, January 01, 2005 a gay new year to us all! i had decided days maybe even weeks ago i would ring 2005 in with cock. believe it or not a first for me. i figured the theater would be hopping, as is usually the case with holidays, and got there a little after 11. it wasn't busy and a little desperation set in. i cruised the guys wondering who had the biggest cock and which one of them was going to be inside of me for the new year. there was no actual announcement of the new year (remember this for next year) but it is my belief i was sucking on a nice fat cock through a glory hole at the appointed time. after the new year the place started picking up quickly. there was a guy walking around in a leather vest, tall, seemed handsome but of course i'm blinded by the leather. we dance around a bit and then i notice another tall bugger cruising the leather guy and i set the cruise control on him. we end up in a corner and i start rubbing his cock through his pants, it seems large in his pants. he reaches for mine and i open my pants which prompts him to pull his out. he bends down and starts sucking me off. some lecherous troll comes over and starts fondling me. i take his hand off of me, once, twice and the third time i literally shoved him away. he throws his hands up in the air and says 'poison' as he walks away. i don't mind if you watch, sometimes i don't even mind the fondles, but if i stop you why keep going? clearly i'm not interested. tall guy and i are now exchanging blow jobs when another guy comes along and heads right for my hole with his gropes. i don't stop him. tall guy notes this i think and next time he's on his knees he spins me around and starts rimming me. by now we have a large audience, 5 or 6 guys, i've stood up and he's rubbing his dick on my ass. there is a booth close by, it dosen't have a door but at least there are 3 walls, i pull him over there. i suck on his dick while i get the condom and lube ready, i swear he got harder as i wrapped him up. he yanked me up, pushed me into the wall and shoved his dick into me. after that i barely felt any movement from him. the motion was there just not much sensation. the gropers are still there and i here him tell one of them 'he's not interested in you' and smile. a shorter guy in jeans and a white t-shirt is now sharing the space with us. i hear the tall guy say 'you need to put a condom on' and the next thing i know i'm getting tag teamed fuck. the shorter guy has a rigid cock and it seems large, it doesn't matter, he fucks like a charm. downright nasty. they take turns fucking me and i'm in paradise. i note the shorter guy changing condoms before he fucks the taller guy as he fucks me. fuck fuck fucking. now another one of these persistent gropers makes his way around me. not only have i stopped this guy numerous times this evening but on other occasions i have made it clear as well. an attractive guy but i don't like the way he operates. by this time i'm fed up with him and push him aside as i walk away from the scene. as i'm walking and trying to do my pants up i think to myself 'what have i done?', i've left two cocks behind that were fucking me. tonto. as i'm showering the shorter guy pops his head in, my first thought was i don't have condoms and lube in here but he disappeared just as quick. i have a cigeratte and sit down in front of a glory hole. one i've sat in front of many many times before but have never sucked a cock through. the short guy sticks his dick through and i put my cigeratte out. i suck on him for quite awhile before he steps back, strokes his dick a bit and then walks away. i finish the cigeratte. i find myself in another corner watching a writhing mess of cock sucking. short guy sidles up to me, takes out his dick and starts ramming it against my ass. okay okay. he's got a condom on before i even have my pants down and away we go again. he is one powerful fucker, plowing me so hard i think i'm going to piss right there. my concern for others gets the better of me and i walk away again heading right to the bathroom. as i'm at the toilet (the same one where i was once splashed) i wish i had brought the little fucker with me to really fuck the piss out of me. i shower again. nothing says slut like cleaning yourself off to start again. i say to myself if the little guy fucks me again i'm going to cum and he must have sensed this cause he finds me yet again. we're in an area with stools, i lean over one and he says 'i'm out of condoms' so i give him 2. 'how many guys have fucked you tonight? tell me, this is the third time i've fucked you, your my bitch' apparently he also knew the way to my heart. all of a sudden we are the floor show, guys are coming up and fucking my face while he fucks me. i here him ask someone 'you want to fuck my bitch?' and i've got someone else fucking me. he says 'that's enough, he's my bitch' and he takes over. now he's sitting on a stool and i'm riding him. i'm not even sure why i stopped this time but i head back to the shower yet again. when i come out he's standing there waiting for me. i put my jeans on and nothing else, not even my socks and head into one of the more private dark rooms, no locks but it is used less. there is a bench along one wall where i position myself with my legs up. we kiss as he fucks the snot right out of me, i slap his ass and he fucks me even harder. i'm close to cumming and he asks if i am, he slows down but i give him another slap and pull him into as i cum he starts this crazy fucking and moaning and cums as well. i wanted to bring him home with me for fucking frenzy but i was spent. my ass is still sore today. bodes well for 2005 i think. 11:40 AM (2) comments