Wednesday, July 27, 2005 um so a little help here. is snarky a word? what does it mean? 2:28 PM (3) comments

Tuesday, July 26, 2005 gay sex lament (or how i learned to masturbate even better). both friday and saturday evening i went out to the theater for my dose of sex. friday was so sad i've blocked it out. i think i only had actual physical contact twice. sure that can happen. insult to injury, the second time was a real nice cock, and obviously it was a chap that knew his cock was the selling point because i saw it first and sort of blurred the rest. i'm playing with it, sucking on it, he strokes my back towards my ass and we were blocked in by viewers. i pull him out of the throng and into a locked space, more of the same but this time he's full on playing with my ass. i pull out a condom, open it, start to put it on him when he announces "i'm not going to fuck you". i looked him in the eye, pulled up my shorts and was out the door in under 10 seconds. out of the theater in 30. the walk home i kept repeating "i'm not going to fuck you" in shock. saturday night makes it's way to me and i make my way back to the theater. it was busier and action was more aplenty. the spanish guy with the fat cock and i both entered at the same time, with a smile of acknowledgement. what i should have done was said "wanna save the entrance fee and come play at my place?" but the last few times there's been no action between us. this time, shortly after entering we ended up together in a dark area. he really is quite passionate. a kisser, a groper, a midnight toker. i love his cock, and worship it like a school girl worships justin timberlake. a few times the surronding action either connected or became a part of what we were doing. though he seemed somewhat proctective of me, putting me into the corner at one point and blocking out the 'others'. our play was definetly build towards my ass being royally pounded when for yet another time other people began intruding. i because somewhat exasperated, and though not actually physically pulling him out of the crowd i made it clear that i was and wanted him to come too. he didn't. i sucked on a delightful cock through a glory hole. put on a bit of a show doing it as well. many guys were watching and so i'd show all the dick and then hide it all in my mouth. taking it all in and having him bounce on the back of my throat pretty hard. i was playing with my dick as well and had to stop two guys from sucking on it. neither of them were my type but even if they had been... anywho, after awhile i decided to move on, had enough of the cock. i'm heading out of the area, adjusting myself when a gentleman i had seen earlier and thought fit the description of 'the troll who lives under the bridge' perfectly comes up and thanks me. i wanted to snap him in two right there, the point of a glory hole is to keep it annonymous, no? i told myself it wasn't actually his cock i sucked (it was so nice) but that he knew he was the troll and his way of scaring people was going around and making them think it was he who had been on the other side of that piece of wood with the little hole. a stretch i know. classic gay fairy tale really - the troll in the glory hole. i follow an attractive young man of middle eastern descent into a room. almost instantly he's ramming an uncommonly large cock down my throat. he's verbal and i probably leaked right onto the floor. getting very excited indeed when he asks if i like to get fucked. someone else comes in the room and there's a bit of a discussion between them, not sure what was said but it was clear to me they had been playing. i'm now being bounced between the the two of their cocks, forcibly. kinda hot. then first guy says something about fucking second guy and before i can even think "HEY" second guy starts a whiny 'it's too big'. too big? first guy is trying to coerce. i stand up, half ready to say "it's not too big for me" but then first guy says to me "do you have poppers?" i do but laugh and say no on my way out. prior to going out fisty mcfister and i had chatted. a black german fuck friend of his was coming over, boyfriend was 'playing' top and i was welcome to join. i left the theater and went over. in all honesty the whole theater experience on saturday had been a little masturbation prior to this date. boyfriend lets me in and i ooze thinking about him fucking me again. no black guy but a guy in his 30's, shorter, muscular with a beautiful hairy chest. in no time he starts sucking on my cock while the 3 of us smoke a joint and chat. turns out boyfriend is going to take a break from the play and i think it's me now. the three of us go into the playroom and fisty tells suckee to eat my ass. nice. he's not at all shy about it either, gets right in there. i'm trying to suck on fisty's huge cock but to not much avail. little guy comes up and swallows it whole then turns to me and smiles 'wouldn't you like to do that?'. well i never! i end up playing with his ass but am not prepared to eat it at all. he wriggles around and positions himself in the sling. i wrap up and start to throw it in him. pushes me out quickly but i get back in. i'd much rather be watching his chest while he fucked me but fucking him and watching his chest works too. all of a sudden, out of nowhere he explodes shit all over me. everywhere. i'm disgusted and unfortunately i don't think i hide it well at all. even though i go to work instantly with fisty cleaning it up. i shower off quickly at little guy's insistence. a cigeratte with boyfriend and fisty joins up as shorty cleans. turns out it's his second time having already done it too fisty. they say it's because he's having an enema while on ecstasy. it makes no sense to me. fisty and i go back in to the room and he starts in on my ass. fucks me a bit before trying to fist me yet again. i swear i'm taking most of it. he keeps saying just a little more. anyway it dosen't work and we head out for a break. turns out shorty has left. which i end up being disappoint about, he had smaller fists and had been double fisting fisty earlier. i could easily have taken him. that would have been even hotter then him fucking me (small dick). i feel like i've just written a book, think i need some masturbation time. 12:54 PM (2) comments

Thursday, July 21, 2005 nothing turns me off sex more then disappointing sex, i guess. since saturday i haven't even really entertained the idea of going out or having sex delivered. when i can get myself off so nicely why go through all the hassles? mind you, last night i was abusing myself when the russian came online. i messaged him a simple 'horny?'. last time we talked he decided not to come over because of the cold i was suffering. no response, which really irks me, a simple 'no' would suffice. i also came to the realization it's a one way street with us. i have invited him over a number of times but always refused (or ignored). i'm relegated to the only when he's horny pile. you'd think after that i'd be prompted to do some online cruising, but i didn't feel like entertaining a stranger. i have a roommate moving in on sunday and the whole apartment is in disarray trying to organize for two. honestly, it's a lot of cleaning. when carlos died one of the ways i coped was by not taking care of the place. these past 6 months have been the only time in my life i've lived alone. i always said i would hate living alone but it turns out i actually liked it. truth be told i'm also looking forward to sharing the space though. of course it's going to cut into my marathon masturbation sessions (not a bad thing) and entertaining intimate strangers will end as well. perhaps i'll try for a small orgy before he moves in... 12:31 PM (3) comments

Sunday, July 17, 2005 gay sex in small doses. in frustration last night i went out to the theater. i'm not even sure if i was horny (of course i was) but i found myself trolling the halls. i convinced myself i was just going to find a big dick, wrap it up and get myself off on it. i got there late and it was unusually busy. also a very unattractive crowd. the asian guy with the thick cock who didn't come home with me because it wasn't 'safe' was there. last week prior to my cold i ignored him, thinking it wasn't safe. also there was another fat cock that i've had in me before but the last two times i got the cold shoulder feeling from him. basically i moved from one group of ugly guys getting it on to another, watching and not participating. there was a younger guy who i found attractive and twice he did a grab at my crotch but both times it was in awkward situation, i wasn't prepared for it and it was quick quick. didn't feel like chasing him down. came across the asian sitting down and i thought what the hell. i really enjoy his cock, he has a hot body and his skin is so smooth. again it was delightful play and unusual for me kissing is included. maybe it's the kissing that throws me off because i again think to myself i should try and take him home. really i'd love to play with him unfettered. however, instead i decide to take him to a private area and get myself fucked as planned. oooops. he didn't want to come with me, yet again. it's not as if we start playing and i just throw this out there. we had been playing for awhile. it confuses me but i've promised myself i will no longer intiate with him. he wants it again he'll have to earn it! a hot chap who fucked me once a couple weeks ago starts a heavy cruise of me. we end up in a cubicle and begin play. the closing of the theater is announced and this fine gentleman fingers my ass while we both jerk off. very nice. he says something about the lights coming on and we both dash out. 4:07 PM (0) comments

Wednesday, July 13, 2005 gay sex thwarted! monday i came down with a nasty cold. i'm not saying i haven't done it before but sucking cock and sniffling your nose at the same time just aren't conducive. so of course, the oppurtunity for sex lands in my lap last night. my new neighbour, whom i must admit i have eyed a number of times invites me to join him on our back balcony for a cigeratte. which turns into some refreshing alcoholic beverages. clearly, or well maybe not so clearly, it seemed he was touching himself in an inappropriate manner as we were sitting and again i should correct myself to say perhpas it was an appropriate manner. however, not feeling well i did not persue it. also in the back of my head should i 'do it' with the neighbour? the answer of course is whether i should or shouldn't i would. his second toe is way longer then his big toe, way longer, and i always take this as a sign of a big dick. besides i find him irresitably humpy. tonight i ran into him and was hoping for some sort of repeat, however it was not forthcoming (i've started taking a cold medication and don't have the sniffles tonight). i ran out of cigerattes 'chatting' with him last night. so went for cigerattes at an early early hour and ran into a 'friend' who asked if i wanted to do a line of coke. i believe i remember reading somewhere that cocaine was prescribed for colds in the victorian times and so... however i should have realized he was quite out of his gourd prior to accepting. he's one of those guys who just can't be still when high, mind going off in a million different places at once. i came home to some gay porn and even more sniffing, what with coke in there somewhere! 11:48 PM (1) comments

Monday, July 11, 2005 more gay sex? well saturday started with just some gay porn. i was a bit exhausted from friday night and told myself i wasn't going out. however by the time i got the dildo in me i had already changed my mind. having not been to a bathhouse in 3 weeks (a record i think) i decided it was time to head to the tubs. besides the guy with big dick from the night before was running through my head, if only i'd run into him at a bathhouse. of course it was hopping at the bathhouse and i had to wait almost an hour before i was able to get a room. in that time i did wander looking for a little booty (also thinking if i get guys off they leave and rooms open) but nothing was happening. i was also noting that there weren't too many guys i was interested in. once i got the room i opened up shop. after 5 minutes the only bites weren't interesting me so i decided to a quick stroll (after an hour of strolls) but as i was leaving my door a hot guy walked by and we locked eyes. i walked back in to my room and he followed. he was taller then me and with the wide shoulders i love. a real cute boyish face. we started out with a little mutual cock play, neither of us getting hard and i began to think perhaps nothing was going to happen. he mentioned he had been drinking and i guess i took that as a challenge because i started sucking him off at that point. i absolutely love having a cock grow hard in my mouth and was not disappointed. while sucking on him my own cock woke up and after a bit i showed him my hard cock and he instantly started sucking on me. we then layed down together and had quite a heavy makeout session interspersed with chat. turns out he had been partying with friends and was shocked that i had not been out. i ask you: can the bathhouse not be a destination? he accused me of being stone cold sober and i told him i was not, that i had just said that i hadn't been out elsewhere. then he wanted to know what i had been drinking and i explained it was chemicals and not booze. then he admits to having done some coke. back to sucking my cock between my legs which worked into a little faux fucking. then he announced he wished he wasn't drunk and i asked why. he told me if he wasn't drunk he could fuck me all night. "i got hard for the blow job but i don't think i can for fucking". he seemed quite upset and i thought to myself "it don't matter you can fist me" while actually stroking his hand. we eased into more kissing and me stroking him all over, which he loved. a conversation about intimacy and the lack of it in the homosexual lifestyle. i told him we get it like this, meaning fleeting in the bathhouse or other occasional encounters and need to enjoy it when we do get it. apparently my words were an aphrodisiac because i next i knew he was reaching for a condom. delightful. i didn't get my hopes up thinking he might not actually make it inside of me but he did. fucked me for a quite awhile on my belly before i switched us into the missionary. he had a nice rythym but didn't give me the pounding i so richly deserve. he pulled out and laid back so i bounced on him for a bit but he wasn't able to maintain the hard on for that, which i understand. more chat. getting even more personal. it started when i called him franklin and he asked if that was the love of my life. a brief conversation on carlos and he spoke a bit about a lover he lost. then the requisite work chat which i evaded answering. worked into some more fucking and more positions. eventually i jerked him off while fingering his ass and then used his cum as my lube to cum myself. we lay together and i believe we both snoozed. i awoke to him poking at my ass but i was done. he decided to leave and i was bit disappointed that there was no exchange of even names. i had thought we had bonded and that perhaps we might get together again. alas... 1:17 PM (0) comments

Sunday, July 10, 2005 further gay sex extravaganzas! friday evening i was off to the theater. right away a tall strapping man caught my eye but it didn't seem mutual. to my surprise i discovered it was and he had followed me into a dark nook. instantly i was groping the expanse of his chest. he however wanted to suck on my cock and i was a bit disappointed, i figured it wouldn't be going far if that was what he was interested in. fortunately he didn't suck on me long and when he stood up he had taken his dick out of his pants and it was hard. nice size to boot, on a smaller guy i would have said huge but with his big frame it didn't seem so large. was quite fleshy underneath the head. the cocksucking was nice, he was moderately aggressive in fucking my mouth and i was working up to showing him my ass. we had a small audience and whenever someone tried to touch me he brushed them off. after a goodly session he suggested taking a break, we had a bit of kissing session while i rubbed my body up against his frame before parting. almost as soon as we parted i was walking past a guy who grabbed me and put my hand on his cock in his shorts. now this was huge! enormous even. in no time he had pulled it out and i was marvelling at his size. likely 8 inches long but a thickness unmarvelled. forcefully he pushed me down to suck on it. i was amazed at my ability to take it and to take most of it. while he was fucking my throat he asked what the biggest cock i'd had was and i wanted to say his but as my mouth was full i said nothing. he started slapping me on top of my head and i just melted on his cock. tears streaming from my eyes. before i could suggest my ass as a receptacle for his manhood he was putting it in his pants and patting me on the head. i was on a total high from that cock sorting of stumbling through the premises when i happed upon him again, only minutes later and he pulled me into a cubicle. this time he started asking questions starting with did i like to get fucked. i let out an audible moan and he said "i'll take that as yes". more cock sucking and he asked which i preffered my throat or my ass and i said ass. "right answer" he said and then asked if i had a tight ass. i wanted to say "have you ever fucked an ass that wasn't tight?" because i just couldn't imagine an ass that would be that loose but instead i stood up and offered him my ass just so he could see how lovely it is. then he said "not here". okay but i wondered then where. then he asked about me taking two cocks and i got nervous because his cock alone would be a challenge but it turned out he meant getting it in my throat and ass at the same time. pfff easy! he then asked if i knew the location of one of the local bathhouses, to which i replied yes but became disappointed. said he'd like to fuck me on a bed, doggy style, the right way. bah, i should have said i have a place closer then any bathhouse but was beginning to realize i wasn't going to get fucked. i offered up my ass again hoping to just feel his dick in my crack but again he said "not here" and then "pull your pants up". we left the cubicle, perhaps i was supposed to follow him to the bathhouse but no matter how big his dick was i just wasn't up to it at that moment. i thought i'd run into him again but he seems he left then and there. alas. sucked some nice cocks through glory holes. wandered into an empty dark area where i was pulled over by what seemed to be an attractive black man. young, nice build, big dick. sucked on him by his suggestion. started doing poppers and not offering which i always find a bit rude. asked me if i liked to get fucked and actually had a condom ready. was going to use spit as lubricant but i pulled out my tube. when he kept using poppers and not offering i decided to pull out the ethyl i had brought with me and not to offer it. a very nice fuck all in all but he came and i was left wanting more. after a few more quick encounters, one with another large cock i decided to leave. on the way out i ran into the last large cock and asked him if he was still fucking when he said "hey" to me. he answered yes and i motioned him to follow me. we got to place and i went back to work on his cock, though he wasn't hard and didn't seem to be getting hard either. i was losing interest and wondering how i was going to get rid of him when he announced he should go home. in a flash i had the door opened him and was showing him the way out. sleep. 4:08 PM (0) comments

Friday, July 08, 2005 gay porn fantasies! jacob slader. i've finally seen titan manplay 17 and can't rave enough about this jacob. fucks like a charm on video. there's also a tasty scene with him punching his own cock. hot! on a happy note, if the video store is finally up to manplay 17 that's only one more to manplay 19 and cliff rhodes! my gay porn lover. 1:45 PM (2) comments

Wednesday, July 06, 2005 gay sex and keeping promises (even if to oneself). so ya, there i am done blogging yesterday when i check out the online cruising. fisty mcfister is there and somehow we make a date for about an hour later. no mention of the boyfriend and i don't ask. almost immediately he has me in the sling fucking my ass. bottom ha! again a really great fuck. at one point i was bouncing completely off of his cock and back onto it. then he had a mini whip that he was using on my balls and dick. nice but nothing i'd ask for. we take a break and go at it again this time him as bottom. i fuck him a bit, then jerk my dick off inside of him. i have a hard time maintaining erection and so end with just fisting him. just mid-forearm again. he says 'i want to take more but just can't right now'. we take a break and i excuse myself. come home and get myself off on a dildo. 4:38 PM (1) comments

Tuesday, July 05, 2005 extreme gay sex. i went to see fisty mcfister yesterday. first time in a long long time. we were trying to figure out when i was there last, i think it's been over a year. the last two times i've been he's had a boyfriend, the first time the boyfriend didn't play with us and the second time he did. this time he did not. it would seem i'm obessed with the boyfriend as well. he's just so freaking hot. when i got there the three of us smoked a joint and chatted, i'm of course hoping this means boyfriend is going to change his mind and will play with us. before i had come over fisty mentioned boyfriend was there but was exhausted. the conversation seemed to be between boyfriend and myself with fisty interjecting bitter comments. or at least i was sensing a bit of tension between the two. at the same time i was running our last encounter through my head. i was fisting fisty and sitting on the boyfriend's large cock. i imagined them both fucking me at the same time. both have large dicks and if i'm going to take two they would be two good ones to try it with. alas boyfriend went out for a walk. fisty and i went into the play room and started with me getting my cock sucked. he then suggested i get in the sling. fucked me nicely. afterwhile he said his cock wasn't big enough (yes it is) and i thought perhaps he was going to fuck me with a dildo. normally i've seen an amazing number of dildos in the playroom but this time i noted they were no longer out in the open. anyway, he was going to try and fist me. we've talked about it before, as i've told him i wanted to try (before i was actually sucessful) but he said what i was thinking, his hands are too big. apparently now he thinks my ass is ready for him, it wasn't. though it was lovely trying i'm not for the width, it's the length that i want. he said i 'almost' had it and perhaps when i was 'higher'. we took a break, smoked some more and snorted some more of the magic powder he has, which i'm still not clear on what exactly it is. back into the room and it was my turn to go at his ass. i started with fucking him but i always end up feeling inadequate. i don't have the largest cock and when i fuck him i always end up thinking 'he's taken me past my elbow - i'm just teasing him'. still it is a delightful fuck when you know you can just pound away. i'm constantly accused of not using enough lubricant when i fist him so i slather quite a bit on. quite quickly i've got 3/4 of my forearm in. i just love the sensation of being this deep inside of someone. unfortunatley i've gone too deep too fast for him and we take a break. more drugs. he explains to me, using ships as a metaphor, that the 'pumps' (i forget the technical term) are coated in grease. what it boils down to is yet again i'm not using enough lubricant. the thing to me is, one of the first times i fisted him he said to me 'you use the least lubricant of anyone i play with' and i took it as a compliment. furthermore, he's made it clear a number of times the lubricant isn't cheap. so, it only makes sense i try to use as little as possible. as we are breaking the boyfriend returns. i get turned on by the idea of both of them again. dashed again when we go back into the playroom alone. he fucks me senseless this time. i'm loud, first off as a general rule with a good fuck i am loud and this was a good fuck. second i'm hoping it pulls boyfriend in. truth was my eyes were closed and boyfriend was fucking me. getting fucked in a sling is the end all be all for me. and fisty is one of the few guys who fucks me as well as i fuck myself. he tries a fist again but i still can't take it. then he announces 'let's not forget who the bottom is here'. i laugh and tell him 'i can always get bottoms to fuck me'. not wanting to go so far as to say 'i am the bottom here'. this time he slathers me up. there's the other part, i know i have to clean up all this grease. anywho, i don't go as deep this time. feels to me like i'm punching my fist up against the base of his spine. i get entranced by it. he's drinking ice cold water and i can actually feel it enter some part of his body from the inside. i give him a little of the jerking myself off inside of him and then move back into punching his hole. he shoots out a spurt of piss that at first i did think was cum but i don't think i've ever actually seen him cum. after that he announced 'stop'. which i did. now he usually says something more like 'take a break' but that time he had said 'stop'. he asked me afterwards if i wanted to continue but i took the stop as he wanted to stop. he seemed disappointed when i said i'd stop. told me not to wait as long till i come again. next time, i swear, without being too obvious i'm going to make sure they are both playing. 11:24 AM (1) comments

Sunday, July 03, 2005 gay sex adddict. so much so it's addled my brain. i go out to meet the russian. what can i say i'm a horny guy. at the bar two rather unattractive guys come onto me, one even going so far as to try planting a kiss on me while saying what a nice guy i am. i'm just a little tipsy and k fortified. i move. unfontunatley into something worse, a guy starts feeling my ass like he knows me, i look at him and say "i can't believe your touching my ass like that" and he apologizes to me, telling me he's drunk and i'm cute. fine. the second time i feel his hand i snap at him 'once was cute, twice is not'. he moves. the russian approaches but seems quite drunk, a little queenie and all dancey. the asian guy with the thick dick from the theater is on the dancefloor. it becomes apparent i'm interested in him and the russian says 'don't go there' to which i reply i already have. i leave and go to the theater, in no time asian boy is there. we get hot and heavy in a cubicle, tries to fuck me raw, i have none of the necessaries and tell him 'i live 2 minutes from here' but he takes this as i'm leaving in two minutes. bah. i clarify, he dosen't jump at the proposition. i walk away. shortly thereafter he's sitting next to me, we kiss and fondle each other heavy, i suck cock a bit. i get up and he follows me, we stop and make out. i get to the exit and he says 'your leaving?' and i say 'i want you to come back with me'. he says he's too drunk, it's not safe. i laugh and leave. at home, porn, dildos, the internet and the phone line. still i'm trying to get myself off... 5:46 AM (1) comments

gay sex + outcroppings = wildgeek. earlier this week i had grim sex off the internet. now that's a tad too harsh. in the pics he's cute and scruffy, greek plus a nice large uncut cock. digs look like nice and the location is swank. it is a large place, his pot accoutrements are out and about but not offered. cigeratte and some channel flipping. as i decide i'm ready to leave he flashes me a grin and i go for his cock. i make for nekkid in no time and he leaves his shirt on. very nice cock. i'm quite excited about the prospect of him sticking it in my ass. he announces we should move to the bedroom to be more comfortable. there are no sheets on the bed 'i'm doing laundry' and i hesitate. i mean i like to think i'm clean but still on a mattress? he must sense my hestitation and puts down a blanket. shortly thereafter we have him wrapped up and inside of me. fits nice. fucking is nice. just as i'm ready to get myself hard he pulls out, takes off the condom and shoots the most amazing load over me. spurts and spurts and then a gush. i'm impressed but at the same time very disappointed. it's clear this is the end for him. in no time he's making sure 'you have everything'. and i'm off. make a date with the russian which i am early for. he wants to reschedule for 4 hours later. i get myself off. this evening i'm supposed to go meet him in a bar. i am particularly horny and may just. in the drugstore today i picked up rubber gloves and i'm dying to see how they fit. 12:49 AM (0) comments