Saturday, August 27, 2005 the real gay sex agenda (or what i've really been doing this past week). to pick up where i left off the cute young guy and i begin bumping nasties in a not so secluded space. and by bumping nasties i mean he starts wolfing down my dick. i mean hey, why not, i am hard just from cruising him. furthermore, by no means am i exagerrating when i say 'wolfing' he took me right to the base (okay so not a necessarily amazing feat but not all do) and when i realized his talent it didn't take long for me to begin fucking his throat. i started by gently cradling his head in my arms, almost lovingly but worked into grabbing him by the back of the head and pushing with all my might. i wanted to fuck his ass and to do it nasty. without words i lead him to a cubicle not sure whether he would follow. he did. once the door was locked behind us i took off my clothes, he remained clothed. i groped his ass a bit, he went for my dick with his mouth again. though it was clear we were building up to his ass being fucked. at some point i took clear charge of this, preparing the lube and condom while he sucked on my dick. standing him, spinning him around and not gently forcing my way inside of him. he managed to squirm away but in no time was rubbing his ass against me. by the time i had grown tired of fucking him standing up something in my mind had completely switched. i was fucking him the way i wanted to be fucked. without saying a word i got down on my knees and waited for him to come down to my level. there was quite a wait, i could make out his incredibly small penis in the dark and begin to think i was going to get up. when this flashed through my thought process i also realized if i got up i was going to leave, i wasn't prepared to go back to fucking him standing up. whether or not it really was a 'power play situation' it was in my head, and i wasn't going to lose. he backed up onto my dick and the taste of power over took me. i quickly had him lying down on his belly, forcing feed him my poppers (he had been doing his own till this point, i tried some and found them lacking in quality to what i had) and grinding into him like a mad man. i came at the point where i was pushing his head onto the ground mentally willing him to lick the floor that i try extra careful not to let my clothes touch at any other time. while i glowed on the fucking i gave him during my cigeratte afterwards a realization dawned on me. i had been thinking how much i would have enjoyed getting fucked like that and wondered if my thought processes about this guy were at all a relection of what guys think of me when treating me this way. it wasn't just necessarily greed in thinking only of myself when fucking him but how it became a lack of thinking about him at all. the thought, the feeling or the lack thereof of either haunted me for days. naturally i assume (why oh why) that another half of me is out there somewhere, or at least a partner in crime as it were. sure, love, but in my mind love also entails greedy pig sex. could i love someone i had treated this way though, can i expect someone to love me after doing the same to me. is it out of the realm of possibilty that my lover could also be my dildo operator? i have surprised myself thinking about finding a compatible mate. not enough that i didn't go to the bathhouse earlier this week. in fact, i had a private celebration of carlos's birthday with a bottle of champagne and porn. oddly carlos pops into my mind alot when i'm fucking myself and i really did fuck myself good (odd because i generally fucked him). with the roommate having time when i feel comfortable about him not walking in on me fucking myself nasty seems rare. so and 'extra nasty' having been drunk from the champagne (i had considered cocaine knowing that was what carlos would have preferred but at least they rhyme) i ended up using a strategically placed pitcher and fucking the piss (fancy french champagne piss mind you) right out of me. euphoric on my own i went to the bathhouse and got fucked by 3 guys in sucsession. since then i have stuck to abusing myself... 3:10 AM (0) comments

Sunday, August 21, 2005 gay sex and the promised land. friday evening i took the big dick from last week that didn't want to wrap, this week apparently he could smell how sweet my ass was and knew he would have to do what it takes. or it could have been the reverse, i knew how big is dick was, wanted it in me bla bla bla. we bumped into each other in the dark, he quickly took out his soft dick and let me play with it while he went for my hole. a couple of spectators tried to become then such and i pulled him into a cubicle. now i was able to get down on my knees and fully concentrate on this lovely piece of flesh. from soft to hard it had different stages and i enjoyed each. marvelling when it became rock hard. again, yes he did try to 'breed' me but i procurred a condom and he snapped it away from me as soon as he saw what it was. once he had it on i was doing zero to eighty, from absolutely nothing in my ass to taking all of him in one fell swoop. it felt amazing to have areas inside of me touched that before had only been rubbed by dildos (well at least lately). i humour myself to think that he was as equally impressed by my fuck hole as i by his fuck stick. and now we file this under positions i don't think i've done before. at one point he pulled out, i turned around to play with him a bit and before i knew i had lifted up one of my legs and he was fucking me from the front while we were standing. was amusing that in the time it took me to think that it wouldn't be possible to fuck like that he had his dick inside of me. it didn't last long as the helium in my ankles kicked in and i had both of my feet on the opposing wall with my upper back pressed into the wall behind me. at this point i chose to play with myself recklessly while he fucked me hardcore. it seemed my cumming set him right off and we were a mess of release. i didn't include the fact that he was more sucessful at fucking my throat then most (with that much meat how not?), that while we fucked facing each other we also kissed or that this guy is likely voted the ugliest motherfucker to ever be inside of me. UGLY. afterwards he came in to try and chat with me while i showered, nonsense small talk while i'm cleaning myself up and all i could do was marvel at his ugly mug. the same as last week wildgeek magically appears in the role of a top on saturday night. for the third week in a row i let the very large black man with the only slight above average cock fuck my ass. i find it hard to say no and he does seem to move quickly to the point. as per usual it starts out very nice but slowly declines into my ass not feeling any motion. as if he's excited at the start but grows complacent with my sweet flesh wrapped around him. i excuse myself and attempt to avoid him for the rest of the evening. likely easier for me had i just waited to get him off. as each week passes more and more of the faces become familliar. he wants this and that one there wants to... a new face appears and intrigues me. asian or hispanic i can't tell. shorter and with a slight build but ruffian and scrappy looking. hot. don't know whether he'll fuck me or rob me. 3:19 PM (0) comments

Friday, August 19, 2005 right so 'twisted' gay sex. saturday all day i decided i wasn't going out, or at least i wasn't going back to the theater. my conduct the night prior seemed out of control even by my standards and trying to top (yes i said top) that was going to be hard (hard to top). it's early saturday evening, the roommate is going out and i'm planning some personal masturbation time. the russian messages me. did i mention that after a month of no contact he phoned and started talking about us being boyfriends? told me the month of not talking was a cool off period he thought we both needed. yes, it was intense at first but after the 'you need to get a degree' conversation any romantic inklings i had were lost. sort of (sort of?) made it clear to him that i wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with him at that time. i digress, so saturday night he asks me if i'm going to the theater and i say no. he wants to see me and wanted to meet me there, can he come over instead then? no. starts talking slutty and about wanting to get fucked. he's not planning on being there for 2 or 3 hours, i tell him i'll meet him there. i head over a mite bit early and give him a call to say i will definetly be there, he asks where i am, i say i'm a minute away from the theater trying to avoid meeting up with him somewhere else, he's already there. tells me to call him again when i get in. i do. he's in the bathroom he tells me and i laugh out loud. i head over and we smoke a joint in the stall while stroking each others dicks. he tries to get me to suck his cock but i'd rather finish the joint. when we do finish we move quickly into me fucking his ass. no mercy given. i pull out and tell him i want to go somewhere else, the idea of a repeat of him splashing toliet water on me being the impetous for this. we end up alone in a secluded dark room that rarely seems used, except by me. we both have cigerattes while i fuck him nasty. you may recall he's not allowed to smoke while topping me and furthermore i had forbidden smoking during sex altogether at my apartment. it was quite hot to be in the dark and watch our double backed monster get lit up by the drags on our cigerattes. now it was his turn to suggest a change of venues, i feared he was leading me back to a bathroom but instead we went to one of the busier dark rooms. right into the thick of the action and i start plowing him, at least i'm assuming it's him. fortunately about a minute into me fucking him he leans back and clarifies that it's me fucking him. lol. it's totally dark and though there is a large number of people with us i can make none of them out. i sense he's sucking some cock and my ass is getting groped as well as the obligatory "fuck his ass". he leads me around the room a bit by his ass, almost moving out into the light which of course at this point i'm all for. we stop. i step out and wait for him, he dosen't come out. i go to my locker, undress for the shower and then see him. he goes directly to the bathroom but i figure it's quite clear i'm having a shower. he dosen't follow me. he's not around when i come out. i look for him, actually saying in a couple dark areas "here piggy piggy". i end up throwing it into a queen i've fucked before who comes quickly. a quick rinse for me. more searching. latino guy with goatee gets me into a cubicle. i've never fucked him before and get turned on by the thought of it. he has other plans, mowing down on my ass like i haven't had it eaten in a long time. tries the old "i've licked your ass now i'm just going to slide in raw" routine. dosen't work so he goes back to eating. i decided i'm going to take matters into my own hand. get my mouth wrapped around his cock while i fumble for condom to put on him. he cums. i cruise around a bit, leave a message on the russian's cellphone and head home. toss off the load later sunday afternoon. 3:07 AM (2) comments

Tuesday, August 16, 2005 sex addicts of the world unite and take over! friday night at the theater i was a nasty pig bottom. perhaps i overrate myself, you be the judge. i'm watching 3 guys get sucked off by 3 different guys, one of them happens to be the guy with one of the largest cocks i've ever seen (or briefly had in my mouth) when the charming black gentleman from last week rubs up against me from behind. we do the dry hump, i start self-lubricating and then he whispers in my ear "let's get a booth". bah. i'm happy here but he tries to pull me to a booth. i go in the opposite direction, do a quick circle and end up at the same spot watching blow jobs. i'm telling you this guy's cock is big and i like looking at it. biggie comes up from behind again and starts the dry hump. i must admit, i wasn't interested in going into a booth with him either, it wasn't just the cock watching but his persistence turned me on. clearly he wanted my sweet hole. i dropped my shorts there and he pulled his dick out. it remained a dry hump but now there was also an audience. when i was about to reach for a condom he again procurred his own. you may recall last week i had to climb up on a ledge for him to be able to fuck me and i was a fear it might not work with us both on the same level but he got in. i leaned forward and supported myself on a glory hole but was no longer able to watch the cock sucking. the 4 guys in front of me were playing with themselves mostly but no one had actually taken there dick out. i lose points towards pig bottom status here as i should have just announced "take your dicks out" and begun servicing them. there were also a crew behing biggie but it was dark and couldn't make out an actual number. biggie came. i pulled my shorts up and pressed my front half up against the wall. i told myself 30 seconds and i'm outta here if no one approached. fortunately someone came up from behind before i could even finish thinking that. he turned me around and directed me down toward his cock. big and hard. i did a sniff and began gagging on it. he pulled me up, turned me around and tried to insert. i was already lubed up and it would have been very easy to just slip down on him but i fought it. it also would have been easy to pull out a condom but i didn't. he tried twice and on the third time i would have put the condom on him myself but he pulled me away from the audience and into a dark area. does he think i'm going to let him fuck me bareback only when i can't see it? i know not but again he tries to fuck me raw. i wanted that dick in me but at the same time was turned off by his lack of desire to wrap himself up (biggie's spoiled me it seems) and pull my shorts up. he says "you must be exhausted", i guess not realizing he just needed a condom in place. my bad. after that the bearded guy i've played with a bit this summer nabs me and gets me into a booth. mutual cock play and suck. kissing. and some dry humping. he puts a condom on but has a hard time directing his dick into my sweet spot. won't allow me to do the directing. ends up pulling his load onto my chest which has me empty mine onto the floor. i shower and walk around a bit but having came the edge isn't there so much. now, if you can believe it, i sort of twist it and top this on saturday night, pictures at 11... 11:57 AM (0) comments

Thursday, August 11, 2005 gay sex fun continued... and with a 'can i cum in your face?' he did indeed cum on my face. sloppy sperm too! oh those straight guys. after that a young bear cornered me. didn't realize until i had his cock in my hand that i had played with him before. not a long cock but thick thick and hard. i knew he liked to fuck and in no time we were at it. briefly trying it with my back up against a wall, supported by an ever so slight ledge and him holding my legs up. it was slightly precarious and didn't last long as i worried more then enjoyed. ended up with my back to him standing. knew i wasn't going to get any better cock and literally pushed him right out of me as i came. unfortunately for him that meant not getting off. i wasn't even about to toss him off. he was waiting for me to put my clothes on and said so before we left the area was in and seemed a bit surprised when i said i was going directly to the shower so not bothering with putting clothes on. sunday night i went to the bathhouse. a charming black man came in first and as soon as i noted his dick was already hard i wasted no time getting it into my ass. good ole missionary style but didn't last long. a cutish young guy came to the door and asked if he could have a cigeratte with me. i obliged cause as mentioned i thought he was cute. unfortunately over the course of the cigeratte our conversation became quite involved. and all though i did like talking with him i began to realize i was not going to be having sex with him. i ended up doing a bump of ketamine with him, smoking half a joint and then telling him i wanted to go for a stroll. he did seem surprised but i thought i handled very diplomatically by doing that instead of kicking him out. ended up with the same bear from the previous night at the theater. the second time i can think of where one night i do them at the theater and the next at the bathhouse. this time i actually yelped as his cock went in and pulled back out. had poppers so employed them properly. he did not take partake though they were offered. it was nice to be able to try more of the positions that we weren't able too the night before. and i made sure he came before i did, seemed only fair. 2:55 AM (1) comments

Sunday, August 07, 2005 gay sex fun! yet again i slip off to the theater. yet again i seek out big dicks. to begin with i am disappointed. a slue of small and average cocks are wagged in front of me. a few i toyed with and others i just out right ignored (shame on me). previously, months ago, you may remember me mentioning about to go down on a very large black man (without the member to go with it) whose smell was just so overwhelming i couldn't continue. he was hot on my heels last night. i was not prepared to attempt a second chance and walked away from him quickly. he followed unbeknownst to me and cornered me when i came to a stop. now is when the realization that wearing jean shorts that have practically no ass is actually productive. immediately he started playing with my ass. i may not be willing to go down on him again but putting a condom on and throwing it up the hoop is within the realm of possibilities. when it becomes clear to him that i'm game for some anal sex he pulls me into a cubicle. methodically i removed all of my clothes (wearing only 2 articles of clothing is also productive). while i undressed he supplied his own condom for bonus points. i lubricated. because he was so tall taking it from behind was not necessarily so easy. i ended up climbing up on the small ledge supplied in cubicle and grabbing the top of the cubicle. peering up over the cubicle while getting pummeled was certainly exciting. his fucking techinque was quick, which was just fine by me but he also came fairly quickly. unfortunately or fortunately with both my hands holding me up i was unable to touch myself at all during that delightful fuck. after showering i noted a young butch number. thick and wearing a very tight sporty wife beater. didn't think i caught his eye but to my surprise he followed me. instead of risking losing him i stopped at the first convinient spot (public) to see what would happen. he took charge of the situation immediately shoving two of his fingers into my mouth. literally pulling me by my teeth to his cock. not hard but he spread open my mouth with both hands and shoved his dick in. i made an audible moan of pleasure (sweet sweet pleasure) and he asked me if i was a "bitch boy". "oh yes oh yes" which didn't come out sounding quite like that with 4 fingers and a cock in my mouth. as well as being a "bitch boy" he found out quickly i was also a "bottom boy". he had taken charge of his own cock and continued shoving fingers down my mouth, which though i didn't like at all was still very hot. once he called me "bottom boy" i figured we could make the transition from 'trying' to shove stuff down my throat to actually shoving it in my ass. he played with my ass a bit but went back to my mouth. his dick was making my ass salivate. it was perhaps 6" but thick and it pointed directly up, hard it rode against his body and was not much leeway when pulling it away from him. before i could get a condom on him he had his dick in my face again asking if i liked "straight cock" 3:51 PM (0) comments

Saturday, August 06, 2005 the gay sex agenda continues: again i was off to the theater. sat myself up in front of a glory hole and right away got a cock sticking out at me. it was soft and seemed large but upon my sniff inspection i decided it wasn't going into my mouth. i continued to play with it a bit toying with the idea of getting it hard, wrapping it up and sliding it into my ass. i also wanted to suggest to him that perhaps he should go clean it but that's not the conversation one usually has through a glory hole. he gave up on me and walked away. quickly another cock appeared, a large hard one. tried choking it all down but couldn't manage it, wanted to suggest he put it in my ass but again, that's difficult to communicate through a glory hole. he moved on and immediately another big cock came through. though this one was similar in size i was able to take most of it down my throat. of course i also wanted to get in my ass. eventually all this sucking on big cock was making my ass very jealous so i got up and decided to seek out these dicks. watching me during all of this had been a gentleman i took note of when i came in. he followed me and we got into it up against a wall. a mutual masturbation session which evolved into him playing with my ass. then he began shoving his cock into me trying to rip me a new hole. he suggested we move into a corner and so we did. quickly i got him wrapped up and inside of me. started out very nicely with the fucking of my ass but i was still thinking of those 2 big cocks i had been sucking on. not that he didn't have a nice cock, it's just that both of the other ones were bigger. as well his fucking style seemed to fizzle. when i pulled him out and put my shorts back on he said something which i didn't catch but suggested disappointment. i took the condom off of him and jerked him off into my mouth. he came a copious amount, i walked away from the corner trying to make it to the bathroom to spit it out but didn't. dropped it right in front of a screening of a porn. seemed appropriate. when i saw it all on the floor i really was amazed by the amount of it. after that i was spoiled. there was big tall hunk of a man who wasn't the slightest interested in me it seemed. i realized if i didn't get him (or one of these large cocks) i was just going to wander around aimlessly. i left, kinda of early too. 11:28 AM (0) comments

Thursday, August 04, 2005 last night after sharing a couple drinks with a friend i went to the theater. sucked on a few different cocks, some quite nice. had no intention of anal sex though and ended up getting frustrated and leaving. 7:35 PM (0) comments

Monday, August 01, 2005 news filters to me in weird ways. many years ago i made a decision to stop 'subscribing' to the news. yet it still makes it's way to me. i see the headlines on newspapers. currently my homepage is still at the default and again headlines make it to me, i'm not ashamed to admit i click on the gossip stories, that diddy really cranks me (even back when he was puffy). for the most part that is the extant of my news. last night i went to the theater and a bathhouse. got fucked mercilessly in the theater. an amazing pounding! afterwards when i grabbed at his cock he announced "i came already" closing out any chance of a repeat at that very moment. later at the bathhouse the first guy who showed me his cock had a monster. the thickness of three normal dicks at least. fat beyond my wildest possible dreams. not only was he vocal but he wanted to fuck me, the most pain i've felt getting fucked in years. will wonders never cease, as i shower a cutie with what looked like an interesting uncut cock takes interest in me. back in my room i found he didn't really shower (his underarm smell was piquant) but his cock was clean. it grew into the longest straightest cock i've seen in some time. again a delightful pounding in which i cum twice. after the second time he asked if we could do it again and we did. i however couldn't last as long, he started telling me how he couldn't cum with a condom on that it made for tantric sex for him. if only i knew this beforehand i never would have put lube to my dick. he asked if he could come back and of course he could. next thing i know i'm waking up mid-morning. on the way home there were people on the street with a petition in regards to the iranian teenagers who had been hanged for being gay. i cried all the way home. 2:17 PM (0) comments