Wednesday, March 29, 2006
as my stomach continues to churn...
we end up connecting on monday night. suffice to say his rudeness, jonesing and general lack of anything relevant finally gave me the closure i needed. yes, just days before i had told him i wanted to talk to him. i wanted to tell him that i missed him, that he was right we had moved too fast and let's try dating. then he brought it up in front of other people "what did you want to talk about?", after earlier having said he knew what i wanted to talk about. that was the first time i said "i should go". and i did leave shortly after that.
there were no tears. i was happy. i slept tasty like. then last night he called me, we had left on bad terms and i wasn't expecting a call. he asked again what it was i wanted to talk with him about. first i said "it no longer applies" and he went on again about knowing what it was. i asked him what it was then. he had two possibilties either i was seeing someone else and wanted to tell him (which made me chuckle, i honestly wouldn't have given him that courtesy) or i wanted to know why he wouldn't commit. i told him neither was true, that i missed him was what i wanted to say because like i said it no longer applied. he went into a spiel about how his previous (and first) boyfriend made it hard for him to commit. i said "that's a choice you make". my heart melted a little.
we've made tentative plans for tommorow.
12:37 PM
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