Saturday, March 25, 2006
one year today.
so i was going to do something to mark the occasion. at first i thought i would buy an extravagantly large amount of coke. last week's planned hooping of the 'e' was really just the same thing, sure, one week in advance. the day has loomed in my head for awhile now. what actually transpired just goes to show me...
of course, the day was wrought with crying jags. my morning piss being the start of the first one. returning videos i cried walking on the street. then i decided i would invite people over, i'd buy a roast of some description (lamb was my first thought)[proof that if i was a desperate housewife i'd be bree] and just enjoy the company. the butcher was packed.
instead i did an extended gym session. i got home exhausted and passed out. later i got a call asking if i could go into work. it seemed too perfect, i was worried that i would spend the night wallowing, work seemed just fine. nearing the end of my shift i got a call from matt (hole, ditchpig, bottom dweller). we made plans to meet up after my shift. made a little difficult as his actual phone is out of credit. fine fine, we worked it out.
after work i rushed home and got ready to meet him. the roommate made some guesses as to where i was going. the theater, the sauna and then "no your not". i started to get disapproving comments and i said "imagine: i don't want to sleep alone tonight".
time ticked by though, and he didn't show. i decided to walk towards him. still no sign. i got to his place and wondered what i was doing. i took a cab home.
then i called the home of carlos. fortunately the roommate was awake and translated for me. seems a couple months ago carlos' diary was found. lots of good things about me. also, and i knew this previously, there's something down there he wanted me to have. it can be only one of two things, my hat, which went missing under peculiar circumstances or the necklace he wore that i wanted him to give me as a ring. or at least that's what i think it could be. i had also left him a copy of demian by vonnegut (do i have that right?) which i didn't know would turn out to be so appropriate.
life is too short. more sex please.
6:30 PM
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